Nothing Happen Today. Good Night.

            I was going through a bunch on my old stuff some time back. I've got these cardboard boxes full of "junk" as my mom and dad likes to call it. But I like to call it my "Treasure Chest Of Memorabilia" (ok, no, I don't. I just call it my stuff. This sounded fancier. And I wasn't even sure what memorabilia meant.. or how its spelt .Google to the rescue as always.)

Anyway so this treasure chest which might just look like an ordinary suitcase from the outside, is filled with years of valuable and one-in-a-million memories. Bits of scrap paper passed around in class, movie tickets, wrapping paper with tag on, letters and cards, flowers that has been dried between pages of books, locks of hair (no, im not a psycho), stones from a memorable place and other things that mite cause you to rethink my sanity level. Among all these, I found a couple of diaries. Now who hasn't written a diary once atleast once in a lifetime. They're so wonderful and personal, especially when you start writing so young. To me as a kid, it a whole new playground. I didn't have to use my best handwriting. I didn't have to stay between the lines. I could use pens with ink that are not blue or black. I could doodle right in the middle of the book if I wanted. And I could stop writing whenever I wanted. My first diary was introduced to me by an aunt, who wanted to encourage us kids to write. It was this lil black leather book with a flap so that you can button it shut. I wrote unfailingly for weeks. Some of my entries, as I read it now.. are hilarious : 

September 7^th Wednesday 1994

Today in the I had a very BIG headace. At home alsaso my dad brought the termomiter. I was having 100.

Um.. ok so not hilarious,maybe. Just plain dumb. For a 9 year old anyway. I'm guessing the headache affected my sentence formation.. And my spellings.. thank god you can't see my handwriting. :-/

January 23 Sunday 1994

Today in school I did not have 4 peread. I am so happy today because I don't have tuion.

July 12 Tuesday 1994

Today I went to ice scat. I could not scat. But I enjoyed it. I am sleepy. Good night. Bye.

I said good night, bye, sometimes Good evening and occasionally, love ya, to my diary. I know…  :-/

After a while the posts got shorter and shorter : 

June 18 Saturday 1994

Dear Diary, Nothing happen today. Good night.

June 19 Sunday 1994

Dear Diary, Nothing happen today also. Good night.

About a month of this and then I got even lazier and started to resort to using ,, ,, in every day's column. As in "same-as-above". Apparently nothing happen to me for the rest of the year.

But then again when a new year dawns, I'd again start off on the crisp pages (which smells yummy by the way) of a fresh new diary. 

Once in my teens, I realized diaries are kinda kiddish and that I should move on to the grown-up version of diaries - the journal.

 I'm not sure what the difference is, but I was a major Babysitter's Club fan then, and the kids in that book always wrote in journals, which simultaneously (crap, I cannot spell simultaneously.. without spell check that is.) was considered to be a cool thing to do.

See the journal on the floor? See it? So cool!

 I figure the only difference is that diaries are meant to be written at night before bed and journals you can whip em up whenever you want and bitch bout life in it. Which was pretty much all I did in my journal. Complain bout my parents. Complain bout how I look. Complain about my best friends. Complain bout how much I had to study and how utterly useless algebra is. With an occasional random post about a new crush or two. :-)

May 16^th 1999 (excerpts)

….. except for one who is drop-dead gorgeous. Well, he's not that cute but then he is really cute. But I think he's some sort of fuddy-duddy (I'm not making this up. I did use the words "fuddy-duddy". I mean how cool was I!)

……….When a girl next to me said the words "fall in love" to someone she was talking to, I looked up at the same time he was looking at me. I know its silly and doesn't mean anything my heart was pounding so bad that time. I think I'm a silly jerk. He doesn't have a nice accent and he hardly ever laughs. Geek. But he looks nice when he smiles……

…..I really really wanna talk to him but I don't have the guts. What am I gonna say anyway? I heard he's a boring conversationalist…….

Ahhhh to be 13 again! 

Note : To know how that story ended.. clickety click here!

I stuck to that journal throughout my teenage years. It wasn't much to look at. It was a notebook with a picture of a bunch of animals on the cover. And it says P.M.S deluxe. Lol! I just noticed that now. I bought it from the store in front of my house for 7 bucks. Eventually I punched a hole through all the pages so that I could slip a lock through it. For ensured privacy. Expect I lost the key one day and had to rip it open anyway. The last post I've written in it is where I'm stressing bout passing 12^th grade and college and life in India.

Do I seem 18 now? ( I asked the 192 paged book) I think the way I write is different (not my handwriting). Or maybe I'm just trying too hard…

What's that even supposed to mean?

Once in college, I didn't do much journal or diary writing because college hostels are one place where girls just get a kick outta reading other people's diaries. In fact, when I was a kid, I used to jump at every chance to read my sister's diary. Except it didn't have anything earth-shattering in it. On the first page of her diary, she'd write – Do Not Open and do this drawing of the danger sign which actually just looked like a peanut on top of an X. On page two, she'd personally address me and say something like "You know its bad manners to read other people's diaries so PUT IT DOWN", which is sooo the wrongest thing to say to a jobless kid with a level of curiosity that could've killed a whole street of cats. But seriously, her diaries were boring. So in college, when eventually I did start writing, it was more or less for an audience. I'd write it so that others would like it if they read it. It would be humorous and charming with tit-bits of interesting trivia once in a while.

So today I hit a mosquito with my bare hands and then I swear I heard a crackling sound. I felt bad about it for a bit, but alas! (yes, alas) the deed had been done. I had crushed the poor thing's endoskeleton..Which as I know is just like human skeletons but on the outside. Yaawn, Off to bed, then. Tomorrow is gonna be another jam-packed day! (uh, yeah right!)

Sometimes I'd force my roommate to write about me in their diary then read it out loud to me. I think she tore out those pages about me after I went to sleep. :-/

Once I discovered blogging, I haven't really felt the need to write a diary. Most of my innermost thoughts and feelings, I usually blog about it. Or its my Facebook status. Ten years ago, I'd have tore someone's eyes out if they so much as hovered near my diary and read about my days where Nothing Happen today again. Now I'm just putting it all up on the web.. for public display.. of billions and thousands of people (ok, so not that many, I don't get that many hits on my blog :-( )

I started a diary last year though. But I stick to one-liners now. 

Day 1 - I got my driver's license today! Yay!

Day 2 - I almost run over someone today. Bummer!

Day 3 - I got my first pay-check. Yay!

Day 4 - I got fired today. Bummer!

After a while, I think I'll probably just shorten it to emoticons.  

Day 1

:-)

Day 2

:-(

Day 3

:-/

Day 4

?;0-(0''!~

Don't ask.

Guess Where I Found Zen?



"Everyone needs to find their Zen. What do I mean by that? Zen means peace, meditation, calmness. We are conditioned to stressing and forboding and worrying, it's human nature. It's difficult for us as humans, to focus on the moment and find peace or even want it, but we do however, need peace in our lives."

Everyone has their own ways to zen.

Ross to Phoebe :

No, no don't!
 Stop cleansing my aura!
No, just leave my aura alone, okay

Of cleansing their auras. I love how Phoebe from F*R*I*E*N*D*S does it by.. well.. literally plucking out the yuckies from your aura. But for the saner lot, it's mostly yoga or music or a walk or whatever. I’ve always wondered what my aura-cleansing technique is. Well not just an aura cleanser.. but also a stress-busting, depression-dissolving, life-mending technique.

I used to sing to ease my worries. No, not just randomly sing.. I would take the pains to listen to a song and write down the lyrics.. even though I could just get it off the Internet. I like to write it down myself cos a) this usually happens in the middle of the night when I can’t sleep and I’m too lazy to turn on the computer again and b) when you write down the lyrics, you can write them down exactly how you hear it if you don’t understand what the actual words are. I don't know how thats better. But it is.

Like the song Survivor by Destiny’s Child. I swear, it goes “I’m a survivor, I’m not go-giver, I’m a bus driver, Imma work harder!”, which sounds all wrong and probably is wrong but it cracks me up so I never really tried to find out the real lyrics.

Anyway, singing usually used to work for me until my nose kept getting blocked all the time and I literally lose my breath after half the song and also its no fun when you have to sing it like “Ibha surbhiber, Ibha bhus drivher”.. It doesn’t really make you feel like a survivor.. or a bus driver for that matter.

So after that, I couldn’t figure out what to do to get rid of all those bad/sad feelings.Until I tried gardening.

It was awesome. Everytime you bring that shovel down on the hard ground, you feel like your cracking through the brains of all your murky problems in life. And when I come across a worm- forgive me all animal right-ist and worm lovers – but I squish it. And I feel better. So there I was, digging and squishing, digging and digging more than I needed to dig. With more aggression that I’ve ever felt in my life. Once I was done, I was proud of myself and resolved that this was going to be my solution to dark days forever. I'd found my zen in the mud and dirt. Everything was great until the next morning when I woke up and found that my arms had temporarily stopped function. Well okay, that’s an over-exaggeration. They did function. Except every time they tried to function, it felt like everyone of those tiny worms I squished the day before had cloned themselves to infinity and had magically made their way inside my body to bite into each inch of the little muscle that I had somewhere between all those bones. Apparently worms have got someone looking out for them too.

I had to figure out another way to unwind before I drove myself insane. I thought of yoga which seemed like the obvious way to go. But I didn’t wanna cause further damage than I had already caused. Everytime I tried yoga in the past, I’d require atleast two days of bed rest atleast until I figure out that I’m bending or twisting in the wrong direction.

That is when I came across this awesome cooking blog. I’m not gonna give you the link b'cos I found it and its mine. And you can’t have it...... It’s mine.

I’m very possessive about my blog finds. I “found” the 1000awesomethings blog and a month later, there was an article about it in the Reader’s Digest. Sure, the blog had atleast a bazillion visitors already… but I found it. :-/

So anyway, the cooking blog.. the secret cooking blog was amazing. I started to make something everyday. And wonder of wonders, everything was.. well.. sorta edible. Well ok, it wasn’t repulsive either! I mean, I was actually good at it and got better everyday. Every afternoon, I’d browse the blog and figure out what I want to make, jot down the recipe and get crackin’. It was awesome, apart from an occasional hard-as-coconut-shells biscuits, everything else was scrummilicious. I was in bliss. It went on great until one day I had my heart set on making Banana bread. I don’t even like bananas, but it just seemed like a cool thing to make! And it was simple as hell too! I went to the store and got extra butter and eggs and everything and was all excited to make it. So in the afternoon, I go to the kitchen to make my much-awaited Banana bread. I lay out all my ingredients until I notice one tiny little thing was missing. We were out of bananas.

I swear, it was like my world was falling apart! I just had to had to make it that day itself! I mean, how can we not have bananas!? We always have bananas! My house literally grew on banana trees! I have never been that terribly upset. I was literally in tears. It was like I just missed out on winning the Nobel Prize. After spending hours, mourning on my bed, I considered trying to make something else. But figured, what’s the point? When you’re looking for lemonade, life just hands you one rotten lemon after another(we were out of lemons too :-( )

I listened to sad songs, sat around in the dark and cried my eyes out. After a while, I wasn’t sure if it was about the bananas (or the lemon) anymore. With the little light coming in through the window and tears flowing down my cheeks, somehow it crossed my mind that this would make a great photograph. All artsy and stuff. Still sniffing and sobbing, but without hesitation, I picked up my phone and clicked a picture of myself... only to find that I looked positively ghastly. It made me cry even more and curse stupid actors in movies who look positively angelic while they cry. Bloody nonsense. Oh, why.. why is everything in my life going so wrong! Where the hell is my goddamn zen! Self pity, self pity and more self-pity. Ugh.

Anyhow, crying always makes me want to pee. I don’t know what the connection is. You’re losing liquid…and somehow that makes you want to lose more liquid. Anyway, I stepped into the bathroom. The bathroom was really dirty from all the mud from the garden and just murk in general. I gestured to the empty room and said to myself “This…this is my life….A big disgusting mess...” Silence.

Without a moment’s thought, I grabbed a sponge and some floor cleaner. Down on all fours, I started scrubbing. After I was done, I looked down and still wasn’t satisfied. So I grabbed hold of every single bathroom-cleaning equipment lying around including an old toothbrush of mine and did it again. This time I gave it my all, which means between the tiles and near the clogged drain. By the time I was on the last tile, I was surprised when I realised that I was actually grinning. I’ve cleaned up the “big disgusting mess”. Ok fine so maybe my life hadn't magically cleaned itself up too. But I realized that if I could clean up this great big mess, well, then no mess is too big for me!

No mess is too big for me.  That's my current aura-cleaning methodology now. I'm on my way to Zen. And to think.. of all the places, I looked.. I found mine in the bathroom. :-)

What's Your Raashee?

"Whats your raashee?"... I am sooo hyped about that movie. I have'nt watched it yet, cos this middle-of-nowhere place where I live chose to not release it here.

I'm not a big fan of any of the actors init or the dircetor... just the concept...Its soo like noone has ever done a movie on that before...that I know of, that is.

When the first trailor came out n I realised what its all about, I was like WHAAAHOOOOOWWW!! Ok, maybe i should tell you this... I'm an absolute freak when it comes to sun signs n zodiac signs and horoscopes. I love love love it! Ive read lota books on it and there was this one time I could'nt decide how my day is gona go without reading my horoscope in the paper first. Ok maybe not thaat crazy nowadays, but man I just love the concept. The world divided into 12 groups not based on color caste creed or anythin... but based on their raashee..

I'm a Scorpion and I could'nt be happier bout it. It's like the only cool thing in my life! I don't have a cool name or a surname or cool clothes or hairdo. I'm practically vanilla! But everyone knows Scorpions are actually Very Cool people. So even if I've got ketchup on my chin and total bed-hair sorta day, you look someone in the eye and tell them your zodiac sign is Scorpio...they look at you differently. Well, maybe atleast 5 in a million people. I know I do. In fact at one point, everytime I met a new guy I had to read up on their sun signs to decide if he's worth my time. Ok yes now that sounds a lil dumb even to myself but trust me..more often than not, it really worked!

I think these sun signs books are the best kinda self-help books. Be it Linda Goodman (speaking of which, whoever's got my Linda Goodman book, please return it and I mite even return all the books I've flicked from you) or Majorie Orr or that other author whose name I forgot, even if you don't believe in the whole raashee thing, I'd say read it. I think it boosts your confidence no end! Like they tell you your like this n that n this n that...and even if ur not, you'll be like..wow..maybe I am like that.. and unconciously you tend to turn into that. You get it?

I love re-reading them when I'm a lil low on self-esteem or anythin.. Oh, and you need to skip the part where they talk bout your negatives... you could read the negatives of all the people you dislike and be happy bout it.

Ok here is my take on the diff zodiac signs.. n this is not based on any book. This is based on my personal relationship with people under that sign.

Aries - I don't know a lotta Arians apart from my roommate of 5 years. I remember reading a sign book in which it says " You Arian buddy is most likely to strangle you (Scorpions) with a sock." Ever since I ve been a bit weary bout leaving any socks lying around in the room. Oh and I do believe we have very little in common. They're extremly hard-working, focused and a lil looney.

Taurus - Don't have many bulls in my life. I've just heard they're extremely stubborn and hot-tempered.. no personal experience as such.

Gemini - Lotsa Gemini buddys. And I apparently get along with them extremely well. I know one Gemini person whose gonna read that and go "Ha! Yeah right!" C'mon, man..we did get along real well until you started being such a pain. Oh thats another thing bout Geminis. They start off being the perfect companion until one fine day they just decide to IRRITATE the hell outta you. And that thing they say bout them bein two-faced? True, to a certain extend... No actually you know wat? No true to the whole extend... hmm.. but I really do get along with em otherwise :-P Life of the party. Makes friends easy. Very blah blah blah.

Cancer - extremely serious people, I suppose. Cant think of any cancerian friends.

Leo - I get along with them too pretty well. But I don't think Leos understand the way Scorpions are. As in their principles and philospies in life differ. If they choose to ignore that and be happy with each other then well and good. Else it goes down the drain. Leos basically cheerful, likable, charming. Unlike what is normally said I don't think they stick out in a crowd or anythin.. at first..until they start talking... I really like this sign :-)

Virgo - hmmm nope know nothing bout this one.. I did have a virgo friend.. I just don't remember who that was now.

Libra - Hmm... Librans n I have this love-hate relationship. I love em to death. And I get along with em real well. But we're so different sometimes I just cant stand the way they're so different from me! Its like They'll be like lets eat the bourbon biscuit just like that and not lick the cream off in between them first. I'll be like WHY?WHY?WHY would anyone wanna do something like that??? But other than that they're super nice people. One of my sisters is Libran.. :-)

SCORPIO - I think they're the best sign in the world :-) (duh) They're fun! Kinda two-faced like geminis but in a nicer sense :-P My other sister is Scorpion like me. But she's a cusp..as in half Libran and half Scorpion. So that does'nt really count.. thats wat I alwayz tell her. I agree with how they say in the movie "Whats your Rashee" that they're different people in front of different people. Thats really true. Scoripions probably wont get along with scorpions cos they're sooo damn similar... I mean they'll have their fun.. but in the end they'll both be bitching bout each other to other people.

Sagittariaus - I love these people. They're extremly nice. You can talk to them for hours. And they have this hidden wild streak in them too which is not quite evident to a lotta people. I love em. I wanna end up with a Sagittarian someday.

Capricorn - My mom is a Capricorn...so i think they're pretty awesome. Working tirelessly, understanding and caring. The greatest cook ever. Can put up with a lotta shit.

Aquarius- i know nuthin bout this one.

Pisces - My dad is Pisces.. I'm supposed to be most compatible with this sign..but I dunno. Guess I am to a certain extend. We do get along when we're not disagreeing to what each other says. Very sensitive people. Loves to please others. Not the bestest mind reader.

ok this is just my take on these signs. Sorry bout the ones I dunt know anythin bout. Maybe Ill fill it in when I figure it out..

Are you into horoscopes too? Let me know if you agree to anythin I've mentioned up there...And also don't forget to mention - Whats your raashee? :-)