Life After Marriage

I started writing this post ages ago. Never got around to finishing it. I figured I better post it now before my life changes all over again and this would seem irrelevant. 

It has been a year and a half since I got married. And I don't think the fact that I'm a wife has still settled in. Though there has been a few random changes in me. Few things that were new or weird to me. Here are the things that are different since I tied the knot.

FAT : For people who thought "This girl is so skinny, when'll she ever get some flesh on her bones", your wait is over. I am officially fat. I know slightly overweight people will look at me and scoff thinking "you call that fat?". But for a person who could still fit into her 6th grade tights at age 27, yes I am fat now. Forget bout 6th grade clothes, I don't even fit into the 100s of clothes I got just before the marriage. At first I thought my clothes were shrinking because of the water or something. Then in a picture, I noticed my upper arm is now the size of both my upper arms together. And I had to throw away 3 pairs of jeans because I couldn't put the button on. These are things I have never ever witnessed before. It was almost scary. All of my sisters' clothes used to be too loose for me. Now I don't even fit into their tiny-miny clothes. I've become a friggin giant! The saddest moment was when my collar bones were no longer visible. They were the favouritest part of my body. And now they've gone, without a warning. All the aunties who kept bugging me to put on more weight are now like "whoaaaa, don't put on any more, okay?" I thought I was the kinda person who'd never get fat. Apparently not. Thankfully, my husband has also joined me in this fat journey. So we don't look weird together.

PET : The only pets I've ever had up until then were dogs. That stayed outside. Who I pet and played and fed on some days. My dad took care of them all the other days. I was completely oblivious to their existence on most days. Until I got married to a crazy animal lover. The first thing he got was a tiny little frog. Which was cute. It hardly ever did anything. Feeding it was fun and I didn't have to do the cleaning. And then we got a tiny little turtle. Which was adorable too. It kept escaping from its container and we'd frantically search for it. We figured the frog and the turtle could be friends. All very cute until the turtle chewed the frog's leg off. After a tearful burial of the frog, we went and got a rabbit. A tiny lil adorable fur ball. Who would climb up our back while we were sleeping and curl up in my arms like a little

baby. Who shit like crazy and peed all over our until then clean room. Who died on the third day, before we could even name him. The rabbit dying was just too much for me to take. No more pets, I said. And then proceeded to get two more rabbits (both which died), another turtle (who died) and finally a snake. Yes, a snake. Wasn't my idea. Don't even ask. And no, I do not touch it. We now live with a cat. And people who know me knows that I'm not exactly a cat-lover. So I'd rather not comment on the cat. Or this whole blog post will end up being about it.

SILENCE : The place where I live now is very very quiet. My in-laws are quiet people and everyone does everything quite quietly. Back in my house, I usually wake up to the sound of a toddler singing at the top of her voice, another one crying out her lungs,the neighbor and his singing class, the mixie in the kitchen whirring, the maids chattering, the t.v blaring, the dog barking madly, my dad yelling at someone or the other and my mom laughing hysterically on the phone. We also have a radio in every room. There are days when I'm back home and I miss the silence. But on most days, the silence here is almost deafening. I find it especially hard to fart or burp loudly because I feel the sound echoes.Although sometimes I feel the silence is soothing.

LIVING WITH A BOY : I grew up in a house full of girls. Even if I go visiting my cousins, I have a total of 38 girl cousins and some 9 or 10 boy cousins. (It took me a while to calculate that) So life for me had been predominantly around girls. Most of my closest friends are also girls. So life with a boy, I figured was going to be really really new for me. Surprisingly though, the boys in this house are a lot like me. In fact, I feel I'm messier and slobbier than them. Boys are surprisingly neat. I'm the one who usually leaves the wet towel on the bed. And the leaving the toilet seat up doesn't really bother me because it makes sense to do that because there are more men in the house. But then again there has been so many instances where I've been surprised by something my husband or his brother does which has had me raising my eyebrows like "Really? You're allowed to do that?"
Boys don't seem to care much about a lotta stuff like girls do. Like they don't go out and buy a new pair of shoes and then find the need to show it everyone in the family and discuss all its wonderfulness. They're very particular about their stuff. If you move their things from the middle of the room into a more reasonable location, they get all mad about it. And its not like you mean to forget where you moved it. I discovered a lot about boys and their underwear habits. Which I'd rather not discuss here and get murdered by my husband.

FOOTBALL, CARS AND BOY MOVIES : I used to watch football even before I got married, but then that was because this game was so much easier to understand than cricket. And also, David Beckham. Now I'm proud to say, I know names of players who aren't David Beckham. I know most of the teams in English Premier League. I know what an English Premier League is. I have watched matches from the beginning to the end without siding with the team who had the cuter players. I have watched a match in a public place around other football enthusiasts and not felt completely out of place. I have also worn a football jersey on many occasions. (Though my husband is always scared I'll spill something on it) And I also somewhat kind of know what offside means too. Its when someone scores a goal and noone shouts and scream excitedly.

I didn't know much about cars at all. When someone once asked what my favorite car is, I googled the most expensive car or something and learnt the name Lamborgini. Now, I can identify some cars. And I get it right most of the time. And I found out that the year makes a difference in the model of the car. And now when I hear Ford, I don't always think of my dad's dear old Ford that he drove us around in for 14 years, I think Mustang. I think of Shelby or Cobra.
I used to be a hard-core fan of chick flicks. I change channels until I see a movie with nice bright lighting and and upbeat background music. My action movie knowledge is limited to Speed and Mission Impossible, maybe. In the past two years, I've watched more action movies to make up

for all the action movies I've missed out on my whole life. And I've found that I loved most of them. I was completely floored by Iron Man. He is absolutely the coolest superhero ever. Sometimes I bargain with my husband and make a deal for one boy movie if he watches one girl movie with me. But it doesn't faze him. He falls asleep sometimes but most of the time he holds his court pretty well. Once I made him watch Pirate Fairy, a Tinkerbell cartoon, as a joke because he made me watch a lot of boy movies in a row. And he got more interested in the cartoon than I did. I thought I'd just make him watch for a few minutes until he begs me to stop it. Instead he made me watch a good half hour and watched the rest of it on his own. My evil plan completely back fired.

LATE NIGHTS OUT : My dad wasn't exactly strict. But he wasn't exactly  the type who'd let us roam about outside after a decent hour. It wasn't really a big deal because I didn't really have anywhere to go either. But after marriage, when my husband suggested we go eat an ice cream at 2 in the morning, I was surprised and beyond excited. I've seen stuff like that in movies and I knew guys from my college who'd tell me about their midnight long drives and junk food rounds. Walking down that road in the silence of the night was one of the most romantic and exciting things ever. My husband was surprised and I'm not sure he understood what it meant to me. What I loved the most was that I felt safe.

So that's some of the changes I've gone through after marriage. There are so many many more, some mention-able and some not. But the fact is that I'm still changing. Everyday. I'm figuring things out as it comes, I'm making new discoveries. And I think that's what marriage is about. I'm not the person I was one and a half years ago. And I'm sure one and a half year from now, I'm going to be even more different. Life never seem to stay the same for too long nowadays. I'll see you guys at the next milestone. :)

My New Year Resolutions for 2014

Every time a new year begins, I, like millions of other idiots in the world, sit and make up a list of so-called resolutions. I don't remember any of the resolutions I made the years before because I'm pretty sure they didn't make it past 5 days or so. But still, old habits die hard. So here I am again making up my brand new list of things I hope to do possibly for more than 5 days.

My Resolution List for the Year 2014

image courtesy : helloladies.com

1. Be Nicer to my Husband : This is one resolution I've never had to make in the past. Its not like I'm mean to my husband or I bully him around all the time. I am nice too at times :P But I'm always left with the feeling that I could be nicer. Since a whole year is over since over marriage, I feel like the initial niceties and the formalities are slipping away. Which is good, but along with it my manners. There is no harm in saying more 'pleases' and 'thank you's' is there? Or atleast thats what Enid Blyton taught me. To mind my P's and Q's. Oh and He always ends up getting up to turn off the light switch before bed because I'm such a lazy bum. I resolve to take turns doing that. (I know my husband is gona read this and I hope I get brownie points :P But then I also know that this paragraph is gonna come up everytime we fight. :-/ )

2. Drink More Water : I'm terrible at this and have such terrible skin due to this. I've been following this for the past couple of days. But I don't do it on the days I have to go out. Because it makes me want to pee a bazillion times a day. Which is how its supposed to be but I'm not used to peeing soooo much. But still, I hope I stick to this resolution, atleast for my skin's sake.

image : chuondis.blogspot.in

3. Sleep and Wake Up Early : Now for anyone who knows me, I'm a night person. And have been since I was a kid. My sister used to call me the Watchman. I'd stay up reading books under the blanket when I was small, which turned into staying up on the internet all night when I was a teenager, which turned to staying up talking on the phone all night in college, to staying up watching movies with my husband all night post marriage. And I hate morning. I hate it because I get my allergies in the morning. I hate it because its too cold in the mornings and thats when people should be under the blanket fast asleep. I hate how everyone gets up and makes a lot of noise. And also it reminds me of school. My mom used to wake me up atleast a 100 times, followed by which I'd go to bathroom and put the lid on the toilet down and curl up on top of it and snooze a little more. Then I'd sleep on the breakfast table and halfway through putting on my uniform. My dad and I used to have the biggest fights over this. He'd come strip off my blanket at first. I'd pull up the bedsheet n cuddle under that. Then he'd take away my bedsheet. Then I'd curl up into a ball and pull my tshirt over my whole body. Then on some extreme cases, he'd come pour a mug of water on me. God, I used to get soooo wild. In college, I'd miss the first hour of class on almost all days because I'd oversleep. In office, when I'm late I'd tell the manager, it's because I overslept. And he'd be like, "Are you kidding me? You're not even gona try and make up a lie?" I mean why? Its a genuine excuse. And also, I think it might be a condition.
Anyhow, ever since I started this resolution, I've been to bed at a decent hour and wake up at a pretty decent hour. And I'm proud of myself. Yes, there are nights when I'm tempted to let go and watch a movie instead or stay up whatsapping my husband. But somehow it feels nice now. I still don't like mornings much. I like breakfast though.

4. Keep Track of Accounts : I had started off last year by writing down our expenses. But it got so depressing to look at, that I stopped. But this year I will do it again. Write it down and look at it no matter how ugly it gets.

image : etsy.com

5. Not Buy Shoes : Maybe if I had kept track of the accounts I would've realised this earlier but last year, somehow or the other, I ended up buying 6 pairs or shoes. All of them are insanely cheap because I thrive on shoes that are less than 100 bucks. In college I had a pair of sandals that I got for 5 bucks. I didn't buy any expense shoes last year, except for this pair of heels for a job interview. Worst part is I can't even walk in them and I sort of hobbled across the room during the interview. I know I should've probably returned them, but god they're so pretty. I could just sit there looking at them for hours. Yes, I'm a shoe-o-phile. Shoes are my weakness. And bags. And to my credit I didn't buy a single bag last year. So i guess it makes up for the shoes. But then my resolution is firm. After the one pair of shoes that I will buy next week, I will not buy any more shoes this year. Or for the next six months. And then buy one as a reward for not buying any for 6 months. Yeah that sounds better.

6. Do More : I've whiled away a lot of time last year just sitting around worrying about stuff or just staring at the wall. I don't know if things will happen the way I want it to happen this year either but I'm not gonna sit around and wait. I want to do stuff. Paint, draw, cook, create, write.... anything. The circumstances might not always be correct. I want to try and not focus all my time on what I don't have and think of the stuff that I do have. This is something I really need to do. I know if I could start doing that I'd be happy and changed for life.

image: superstock.com

7. Go for More Walks :  Ever since I got married, I've walked more than I have in my whole life. Sometimes, its exhausting but its never dull. When I walk alone, I get conscious about myself, I scurry along fast, not making eye contact. But now, its kind of nice to hold hands, walk slowly, talk about random things, comment about passerbys. I find that things that some of the things I used to not like doing before, I like doing now because of the company. Like the walks. Or watching boy-movies. My absolute favourite walk is at the middle of the night, when we sneak out of the house to go have an ice cream. This is something I have never been allowed to do before. And it feels like we're doing something we're not allowed to. Which makes it all the more exciting.  This year I will walk more. Preferably in malls. While not buying shoes. :P

image: sharplikeballoon.blogspot.com

8. Cry Less : The past one year, its like my tear hormones just multiplied. Yes, I used to cry before too but there used to atleast be a reason. Now I just cry randomly. A whole bunch of movies made me cry. And I don't mean the silent tear trickling down my cheek. Like absolute bawling. My husband usually have to pause the movie and wait for me to finish. I watched Taken for the first time and spend the whole night crying. In spite of it being a happy ending! This year, I don't care I have to duct-tape my tear ducts. No more crying. Except when I'm PMSing that is. The universe wouldn't want me to mess with that.

9. Eat a fruit everyday : And fruit loops don't count.

image: randomdysfunctions.com

10. Not be Embarrassed to Fart/Burp in front of my Husband :  It is time. Yes, I have done it in the past and covered it up with coughs and what not. It's been a whole year. And its time to get real. And I promise not wince or hide a giggle and be more mature about it when my husband does the same.




11. Blog More Often : Last year I had one post. ONE. I have like 4 posts saved in drafts that I never published. Because somehow it didn't fit the theme of this blog. My writings were starting to seem like a way of venting rather than entertaining. My blog apparently brings happiness to a few people. And I didn't want to wreck that for them by making them listen to me whine. My other excuse is that I'm married. Isn't that the perfect excuse for everything? Why aren't you in touch with us now? Because I'm married. Why are you so fat now? Because I'm married. Why were you out so late? Because I'm married. Why are you wearing that? Because I'm married. I love this newfound excuse. I'm gonna use it when I get a job and I'm late for work.

12. Be more Tolerant : Its my only prayer for the year.  Tolerance. The word had such little importance in my past life. But now it means a whole lot. I wish this year I be more tolerant. To bullshit people say or do. To pain, be it mental and physical.  Of bad times. Mean words. I need to let go of bygones and let it stay gone. I want to look forward and only forward.

Those are my new year resolutions, or rather wishes for myself. I know some of them are silly. I know I probably will break a few before the end of the month. But as long as I have this out there, everytime I look back at this post, I'll remember. And I can start again then.
I do have a lot more boring resolutions like Get a job, learn a new design software, pick up my phone more often, take better care of my hair,etc. I will probably think up a whole bunch of other resolutions too throughout the year. Will keep you posted on them. In the meantime, what are your resolutions? Or don't you believe in resolutions? Let me know!