The City of Brands, Buses and Blocked Noses

The other day, I was walking down a crowded street and I saw this beggar woman. Or alteast I think it was a beggar woman. Her clothes looked murky and old but then that could've been just some sorta fashion statement. She had a wrap around her that looked really tattered and worn out from the hundreds of nights she had to spend wrapped around in it during the chilling weather of this city. Or maybe its the hundreds of bucks she spend at a brand outlet to get a tattered looking wrap. I forgot to look if she was wearing shoes. That would've given me some sorta benefit to my doubt. She was just standing there leaning on a railing looking like she belonged there. I couldn't see her face so I couldn't tell if she had make-up on but her hairstyle was the one they give you in mental institutions (well atleast in movies). The horrible buzz cut that makes you hair stick up like porcupine spikes. Again, this could've been a fashion statement thing. She was eating something like it was the only meal she's had in days or the only meal she's had since she got out of office. I couldn't stand at stare at this woman too long to figure her out because I was in the middle of Brigade Road in Bangalore. The crowd just sorta takes you along with you. Or maybe I just haven't learned how to work against the crowd.

 I don't live in Bangalore. I just come here on random days. And it never ceases to intrigue me. A few years ago, before I had ever set foot on Bangalore, it was this mystical place that I had only read about. I'd heard about its shops and the people and the awesome coolness of it all. And I was just dying to get there. When finally I did land up here on a one-month stint, well, it wasn't quite what I expected. I'm not saying it was bad. Maybe I built it up too much in my head. Anyway, here are a few findings of mine about this city. Do not take it personally. Its just my opinion.

Bangalore weather hates my nose. The moment I cross over from Hosur to Bangalore, my nose gets a mind of its own and has its own little sneeze fest. Then apart from frequent sneeze attacks, it remains blocked during  the rest of my stay. I miss breathing when I'm in Bangalore.

Everyone is sooooo busy. Sure, they're all working and I'm just playing tourist but c'mon!Everyone acts like they work in the ER. Its all frantic and stress and panic attack. Geez, its not the end of the world! I have never worked in Bangalore or in a big important MNC sorta office, so I wouldn't know what the fuss is all about. Do your bosses cut your fingers off if you miss a deadline? I don't know why people put up with this sorta stressful likfe? (for the big fat paycheck, you dope! Oh...right...I've never had one of those either.. ahem.. so I wouldn't know. :-( )

Everyone is so clean! I don't if its just because of the way they all dress so well. But they look like they wash themselves every couple of hours. There is no greasiness or frizziness. And poor or rich, everyone looks like they stepped out of some sorta ad. (I'm just talking about the proper city city part not the outskirts.)

No matter how many times I've been here, I turn into a country bumpkin. I can't help gawking at girls in short dresses or people with tattoos or stifle a giggle when I see a person shopping in what looks like their underwear. I squeal when those laser activated water facet things work. I save up tissues from every restaurant to use later. I spend a few minutes staring in awe at gleaming toilets. I swoon over 100 bucks slippers and carry back as many as I can. I steal glances around at everyone else in the room and then proceed to try and appear all relaxed and laidback like them except my insides are in knots.

Everyone has a Bangalore accent. I didn't know there was one. But there is. Its just not widely popular like the other accents.

The traffic. I generally like traffic jams because it gives me time to study the surroundings and the people around me. But in Bangalore, when I end up staring at the delivery van guy for some 30 minutes and I begin bordering at creepy.

The climate again. I could never work in a place with a climate like this. Not just because of my allergies. But this is the kinda climate that makes me want to snuggle under a quilt and hibernate till its summer again.

I hate how everything is so far away. Back in college, I could find everything I needed at each places that the bus stops. Thats like 5 minutes. Here travelling the distance between two friends I want to visit could cost me an entire day in the bus or an entire fortune in an auto.

I love the buses. They are the most ultra coolest things they have here. They don't make them like that back where I live. There its a box with four wheels. And the box leaks more often that not, when it rains. In Bangalore, its like a whole new technology. With the automatic doors and everything. Whoosh. Open. Its like magic...Umm.. okay, that was the country bumkiness I was talking about.

Everyone seems rich here. I want to meet a poor person here. I'll have a lotta people coming up now saying that they're poor cos they spend all their salary before the end of the month and because they live in a studio apartment and eat out only every fortnight. I sympathize with you, I do. I'm just talking about dirt-poor. Who lives pretty much like most of the people back in my hometown.

This city changes people. It turns the relaxed into uptight and harried and turns the stick-up-their-ass types into chill-maadi types. I had many a slow-moving, song-humming, non-branded clothes friends once. But Bangalore has transformed them. A few for the better too. And I've had friends who were ready to burn people who drink and smoke at stakes. Now its all "Meh" to them. Its a crazy world, this city. I've read a lotta books about people based in this city. I know if I stay here long enough, I 'd get swirled into the big cup of surprises this city brings. I'd get street-smart and sassy. I wouldn't go home and cry about the amount of money I was "tricked" into paying. I'd look clean all the time too!

But for now, its back to slo-mo living at my good ol' home town in my non-cool clothes and de-congested lungs. I'm not saying my hometown is the best thing ever. It's got its billion flaws too.. But its just like.. you're a piece of cloth that has been floating about in a bucket of water all life long and suddenly someone takes you and puts you in a big techy washing machine and you're tossing and turning and beating against the sides. I'm still in my bucket of water. In fact I'm like the frog in the bucket of water. Whoa wait thats a whole other metaphor. I'm getting my metaphors mixed up. Maybe I should stop for now. Until next time, you guys chill maadi! :-P

Wedding Bells are Ringing...And Ringing...And Ringing..

Do you ever sit at home and think when you have absolutely nothing to do - "If only I had someplace to go or something to do?" And then like someone heard u say that, BAM!! Its Wedding Season.

        Weddings are great. I totally love weddings. I cry at most of em. Well, if not for happy couple, cos of the heat or cos of the sticky/pokey/itchy/un-breathably-dressy dressy clothes.
Or I'm smiling. At every random person who comes up to me and goes "Oh my god! How you've grown!" I mean I would've seen them just the day before at another wedding and I've grown since then? Really?
          But no seriously though. I love weddings. I love dressing up. I love seeing people all dressed up. And each wedding is like a whole different movie. Sure its nothing like in the movies. No nach-gaana n all. And you don't meet any Salman Khan types there(not that I like Salman Khan, I'm just refering to a wedding movie guy). But there is almost always this one guy who you play "aankon ki ishare" with at each wedding. As in one guy per wedding. Not the same guy. Thats it. No talking. No exchanging numbers. No complications. A smile maybe is as far as it would go. Thats the beauty of this relationship. You don't even know if you'll see them again. Most probably not. Its like a one-night stand..At the sweetest level.
And sometime when you go digging for info and you find that you've been eyeball-flirting with your far far far related cousin but still your cousin or worse your nephew, it just makes it a tad bit icky. So ignorance is bliss.
                 Althooooough.. sumtimes, it could be heart-breaking too... This one time I fell absolutely head over heels fell in love with this aMazing looking Rahul Gandhi types guy at a wedding only to realise that he's the groom. Blah. So yeah, sometimes finding out minor details like that does not hurt.
And its also no fun when you don't have the right sorta company at weddings. I was sitting around with this aunt of mine at one wedding when she went "Oh ooh look at the guy in the white shirt. Like him?"
I was taken aback for a bit then I'm like "Umm.. well no not really.. "
She: Oh.
Pause
Me: I liked this other guy I saw sumtime back. (I did'nt wanna disappoint her)
she: Who who who?
me: scanning crowd " Ohhh him near the door. White striped shirt."
she to other aunties : she liked that guy over there.
other aunties: that skinny guy? Hmm really..who is he?
me: Oh My GOD! (WTF!)
She: Do you know who he is?
me: Um.. no. Do you?
she: Nope! I'll go find out.
me: Wha.. wait..
And before I can say anything more, she's gone. Vroom... I can't stop laughing. This is so unreal. I'm all like I should've hung out with my aunties more often if they were gona be so considerate. I mean I have never had anyone try and find out stuff about a guy for me at weddings. Well not an aunt anyway. This is soooo awesome!
She comes back.
me: Well?

she: Finished his MBA, shudh jatakam (clean horoscope, i guess), thats his mom and dad..(pointing at people i do not even bother looking at)

and she launches into a conversation with mum and other aunties..
Thats it? His name? His number? Does he have a girlfriend?? Is he on Facebook? Hellooo..
So like I said.. the right company... very important.

           Okay, lets forget about guys now (Nooooooooooo not completely.. lets just tuck them into a smaller part of our brain)

I like to look at the couple on stage and figure out how their future is gonna be. I mean you can totally tell if you stare at them long enough. I cannot give you examples without offending anyone. So you try it yourself.
I don't like the fact that my hair sometimes gets mixed in the food. I've had a lotta unusual things hang off my hair. (And I'm not just talkin bout food)
I like the drum roll at weddings (a south-indian wedding speciality. I don't know if it happens at northie weddings. Actually I dunno what happens at a north-indian wedding. I've never been to one :-( I'm kinda hoping its like the wedding Priyanka and Shahid's wedding in Kaminey. That is like my secret dream wedding. It would be so incredibly awesome to get married like that. Dance dance dance Marry dance dance dance.) The drum roll when the big knot tying happens. It sorta replicates the heartbeat of the bride and groom at that point. And it always gives me goosebumps. Its so final. Like this is it. Knot tied. Chained for life. Its like that Shania Twain song - From this moment...um.. something something happens.. I don't remember wat. But the Moment. This is that moment. One thing I've noticed though. Most of the wedding, the groom just sorta places the chain around the bride's neck. He tries to work the clasp (hehe no not thaat clasp..please! Dirty-minded people) I meant the clasp thingy on the chain. And fails. So the groom's mum or sister does the actual tying. So technically, its the groom's mum or sis who marries the girl..hyuk hyuk! Oh crap, you know wat? When this same thing happens at my wedding, I'll probably snort and start giggling cos I'll think of this. See, this is why people like me should not be allowed to get married.
But to those who went ahead and did it.. I Applaud You.
 The biggest daredevils on earth are married. Thats why they're really and truely called daredevils.

Are The Fine Arts Edging Towards An End In India?

In the wake of commercialization, fine arts is being edged out by professional courses .Increasing number of people have begun abandoning their passions for the arts in order to pursue careers in professional fields. Despite having over 190 institutions across India which caters to the fine arts (which includes not just painting and sculpture but also performing arts like drama, music and dance), the future M.F.Hussains and Ravi Shankars are now found inside operation theaters or at construction sites or spending sleepless nights in front of a computer screen, frittering away their God-given talents.

Today the average fee for professional course like medicine or engineering comes up to 4.5 lakhs approximately, whereas the fees demanded by a specialized course in fine arts may begin at Rs.50,000 per annum. For an individual aspiring for a career in the field of fine arts, the issue of income may prove problematic because mere talent, perseverance and dedication is no longer sufficient to ascertain a comfortable lifestyle. Factors like luck, contacts and the right break at the right time plays an important role when it comes to securing a steady future as an artiste. In the present times, where an IT professional is given a firm assurance of an income higher than that of an arts-related person, demand for these jobs are reducing considerably.

Even parents discourage their children from considering the possibility of a career in the fine arts field inspite of having pushed them into taking up painting, music or dance as a co-curricular activity throughout their school life. The fear of being cast as a social stigma attributes for this indifference. Noone is ready to attempt anything that will jeopardize the society’s opinion about them.

Unlike those residing abroad who thrive on creativity, here in India, right from he beginning, we are taught how to memorize not how to create. Only a very minimal number of schools have included any of the traditional arts under its normal curriculum. But what about all those students who graduate from the numerous colleges that specialize in fine arts? What has happened to those who aspire to be artists, sculptors, dancers, musicians and craftsmen? They evolve into graphic designers, photographers, animators, choreographers and sound engineers. Technology is the key word here. Traditional arts are being side-lined by its modern technology-driven forms. The emergence of reality singing and dance shows provide an opportunity for amateur singers or dancers to jump right into stardom, skipping the various levels of training in between that most of the veterans in the field have undergone.

Reforms must be taken for the rejuvenation of fine arts as a traditional if not a professional art form. However the positive side of relegating fine arts to sidelines is that in today’s age where everyone is thriving towards a technologically-rich tomorrow, the contributions by the fine arts to make the world more techno-savvy or futuristic is considerably meager. It can still be adopted as a soul soother amidst the dreary routine of the working class today. Hopefully in future, there will emerge a job which is related to fine arts that will arouse as much or even more demand as that of an IT-based job today.


How is This for Inspiration?

The world’s most expensive painting sold to date, Jackson Pollock’s “No. 5 1948” was claimed to have fetched about $150 million (Rs. 5,600,000,000 approx.)

Brancusi's "Bird in Space",the world’s most expensive sculpture was sold for an amount of $27.45 million (Rs. 978,000,000 approx.), plus buyer's premium.

Kathak performing artist-teacher-choreographer Anjani Ambegaokar.was the first Indian dancer to be honored with the National Heritage Fellowship by the National Endowment for the Arts in Washington D.C.,which is the the nation’s highest honor in the folk and traditional arts, which includes a one-time award of $20,000 (Rs.800,000).

Courses catering to Fine Arts

Dance and Music

BA & MA Dance
BFA & MFA Dance
Course in Khatak & Bharathnatyam
BA & MA Music
BA Tabla & Sitar

Painting and Sculpting

BFA & MFA Painting
MFA Painting
BA & BFA Sculptor
Diploma in Sculptor

I wrote this a few years back for an online mag.Never got published. Worked on it for like weeks. Came across it tday. can't believe I wrote all that. So damn serious and stuffy. Hmm.. so this is the other side of me. Nah not really. Dunno how i pulled this one off.
So here is my first Informative post.Don't fall asleep in the middle.