My New Year Resolutions for 2014

Every time a new year begins, I, like millions of other idiots in the world, sit and make up a list of so-called resolutions. I don't remember any of the resolutions I made the years before because I'm pretty sure they didn't make it past 5 days or so. But still, old habits die hard. So here I am again making up my brand new list of things I hope to do possibly for more than 5 days.

My Resolution List for the Year 2014

image courtesy : helloladies.com

1. Be Nicer to my Husband : This is one resolution I've never had to make in the past. Its not like I'm mean to my husband or I bully him around all the time. I am nice too at times :P But I'm always left with the feeling that I could be nicer. Since a whole year is over since over marriage, I feel like the initial niceties and the formalities are slipping away. Which is good, but along with it my manners. There is no harm in saying more 'pleases' and 'thank you's' is there? Or atleast thats what Enid Blyton taught me. To mind my P's and Q's. Oh and He always ends up getting up to turn off the light switch before bed because I'm such a lazy bum. I resolve to take turns doing that. (I know my husband is gona read this and I hope I get brownie points :P But then I also know that this paragraph is gonna come up everytime we fight. :-/ )

2. Drink More Water : I'm terrible at this and have such terrible skin due to this. I've been following this for the past couple of days. But I don't do it on the days I have to go out. Because it makes me want to pee a bazillion times a day. Which is how its supposed to be but I'm not used to peeing soooo much. But still, I hope I stick to this resolution, atleast for my skin's sake.

image : chuondis.blogspot.in

3. Sleep and Wake Up Early : Now for anyone who knows me, I'm a night person. And have been since I was a kid. My sister used to call me the Watchman. I'd stay up reading books under the blanket when I was small, which turned into staying up on the internet all night when I was a teenager, which turned to staying up talking on the phone all night in college, to staying up watching movies with my husband all night post marriage. And I hate morning. I hate it because I get my allergies in the morning. I hate it because its too cold in the mornings and thats when people should be under the blanket fast asleep. I hate how everyone gets up and makes a lot of noise. And also it reminds me of school. My mom used to wake me up atleast a 100 times, followed by which I'd go to bathroom and put the lid on the toilet down and curl up on top of it and snooze a little more. Then I'd sleep on the breakfast table and halfway through putting on my uniform. My dad and I used to have the biggest fights over this. He'd come strip off my blanket at first. I'd pull up the bedsheet n cuddle under that. Then he'd take away my bedsheet. Then I'd curl up into a ball and pull my tshirt over my whole body. Then on some extreme cases, he'd come pour a mug of water on me. God, I used to get soooo wild. In college, I'd miss the first hour of class on almost all days because I'd oversleep. In office, when I'm late I'd tell the manager, it's because I overslept. And he'd be like, "Are you kidding me? You're not even gona try and make up a lie?" I mean why? Its a genuine excuse. And also, I think it might be a condition.
Anyhow, ever since I started this resolution, I've been to bed at a decent hour and wake up at a pretty decent hour. And I'm proud of myself. Yes, there are nights when I'm tempted to let go and watch a movie instead or stay up whatsapping my husband. But somehow it feels nice now. I still don't like mornings much. I like breakfast though.

4. Keep Track of Accounts : I had started off last year by writing down our expenses. But it got so depressing to look at, that I stopped. But this year I will do it again. Write it down and look at it no matter how ugly it gets.

image : etsy.com

5. Not Buy Shoes : Maybe if I had kept track of the accounts I would've realised this earlier but last year, somehow or the other, I ended up buying 6 pairs or shoes. All of them are insanely cheap because I thrive on shoes that are less than 100 bucks. In college I had a pair of sandals that I got for 5 bucks. I didn't buy any expense shoes last year, except for this pair of heels for a job interview. Worst part is I can't even walk in them and I sort of hobbled across the room during the interview. I know I should've probably returned them, but god they're so pretty. I could just sit there looking at them for hours. Yes, I'm a shoe-o-phile. Shoes are my weakness. And bags. And to my credit I didn't buy a single bag last year. So i guess it makes up for the shoes. But then my resolution is firm. After the one pair of shoes that I will buy next week, I will not buy any more shoes this year. Or for the next six months. And then buy one as a reward for not buying any for 6 months. Yeah that sounds better.

6. Do More : I've whiled away a lot of time last year just sitting around worrying about stuff or just staring at the wall. I don't know if things will happen the way I want it to happen this year either but I'm not gonna sit around and wait. I want to do stuff. Paint, draw, cook, create, write.... anything. The circumstances might not always be correct. I want to try and not focus all my time on what I don't have and think of the stuff that I do have. This is something I really need to do. I know if I could start doing that I'd be happy and changed for life.

image: superstock.com

7. Go for More Walks :  Ever since I got married, I've walked more than I have in my whole life. Sometimes, its exhausting but its never dull. When I walk alone, I get conscious about myself, I scurry along fast, not making eye contact. But now, its kind of nice to hold hands, walk slowly, talk about random things, comment about passerbys. I find that things that some of the things I used to not like doing before, I like doing now because of the company. Like the walks. Or watching boy-movies. My absolute favourite walk is at the middle of the night, when we sneak out of the house to go have an ice cream. This is something I have never been allowed to do before. And it feels like we're doing something we're not allowed to. Which makes it all the more exciting.  This year I will walk more. Preferably in malls. While not buying shoes. :P

image: sharplikeballoon.blogspot.com

8. Cry Less : The past one year, its like my tear hormones just multiplied. Yes, I used to cry before too but there used to atleast be a reason. Now I just cry randomly. A whole bunch of movies made me cry. And I don't mean the silent tear trickling down my cheek. Like absolute bawling. My husband usually have to pause the movie and wait for me to finish. I watched Taken for the first time and spend the whole night crying. In spite of it being a happy ending! This year, I don't care I have to duct-tape my tear ducts. No more crying. Except when I'm PMSing that is. The universe wouldn't want me to mess with that.

9. Eat a fruit everyday : And fruit loops don't count.

image: randomdysfunctions.com

10. Not be Embarrassed to Fart/Burp in front of my Husband :  It is time. Yes, I have done it in the past and covered it up with coughs and what not. It's been a whole year. And its time to get real. And I promise not wince or hide a giggle and be more mature about it when my husband does the same.




11. Blog More Often : Last year I had one post. ONE. I have like 4 posts saved in drafts that I never published. Because somehow it didn't fit the theme of this blog. My writings were starting to seem like a way of venting rather than entertaining. My blog apparently brings happiness to a few people. And I didn't want to wreck that for them by making them listen to me whine. My other excuse is that I'm married. Isn't that the perfect excuse for everything? Why aren't you in touch with us now? Because I'm married. Why are you so fat now? Because I'm married. Why were you out so late? Because I'm married. Why are you wearing that? Because I'm married. I love this newfound excuse. I'm gonna use it when I get a job and I'm late for work.

12. Be more Tolerant : Its my only prayer for the year.  Tolerance. The word had such little importance in my past life. But now it means a whole lot. I wish this year I be more tolerant. To bullshit people say or do. To pain, be it mental and physical.  Of bad times. Mean words. I need to let go of bygones and let it stay gone. I want to look forward and only forward.

Those are my new year resolutions, or rather wishes for myself. I know some of them are silly. I know I probably will break a few before the end of the month. But as long as I have this out there, everytime I look back at this post, I'll remember. And I can start again then.
I do have a lot more boring resolutions like Get a job, learn a new design software, pick up my phone more often, take better care of my hair,etc. I will probably think up a whole bunch of other resolutions too throughout the year. Will keep you posted on them. In the meantime, what are your resolutions? Or don't you believe in resolutions? Let me know!

So Yesterday

A couple of days ago "What I miss the most" was trending on Twitter. And I went on tweeting-rage that day. Here are a few things that I Miss the Most.

VHS Tapes - The excitement while going to the video rental store. The search for the perfect Thrusday evening movie(I grew up in the Middle East, where the weekend used to be on Friday). The squeal of happiness when you find that the one that you've been waiting for is in today. The restlessness as you pop it into the player and listen to the whir as it rewinds. Winding the tape with a pencil when the player gets stuck. Sticking the magnetic tape with cellotape when it breaks due to overuse (my Alladin tape)

Getting my hair cut in the barber shop - They do a neat job and they do not bug you with unwanted advice. They do not tell you how a clean-up could solve all your problems in life. They do not tell you obvious things about yourself ("hey, you're graying. hey, you have pimples, hey, you have crap hair") And they do that cool thing with an electric razor on the back of your head. Awesome it is.

Dungarees -  I wore dungarees to school on my 14th birthday. I looked like a complete idiot. But dungarees were undeniably cool during those days. Not to mention comfortable.

Highlighter pens - I used this pen a lot, mostly to show people who bothered to look through my books that I've read all this. Though I really wouldn't have. I like how it would brighten up the pages of my boring Chemistry or Physics book.

My bunk bed - I bagged the top bunk before my sister could. I broke the bed in a couple months and had to share bottom bunk with sister. :(

White Ink bubbles - My desk at school used to be filled with white ink bubbles. If you haven't tried making white ink bubbles, you should. There is something very soothing about it.  Not sure if it had anything to do with its smells.

Bicycles - I don't understand why people don't ride cycles too much after they've grown up. I mean you don't need a license to drive it. And its way better exercise than sitting on a scooty or a bike. And how can you ever feel sad when you're riding a cycle?

The way Barbie smells - Go to a shop. Pick up a Barbie. Smell her. She smells heavenly. Try not to get thrown out of the shop in case people think you're a pervert.

The Titanic Craze - All the boys were sporting the Jack Dawson hairstyle. The girls all had fake 10 Dhs version of the Blue Diamond. And everyone around the corner was going "I'm the king of the world" and doing the classic Titanic pose. I had a Titanic phonebook, a Titanic t-shirt, a Titanic notebook and a box of clipping of anything related to Leonardo DiCaprio. It was nice to be manically obsessed with something.

Enid Bylton books - This I miss the most. I had this huuuuuge collection of Enid Bylton books which I used to read over and over again. Fairy tales, mysteries, school stories...had them all. I remember going to book fairs and coming home with tonnes of books. And just gobbling up the words all night long. I'd finish reading all the books by morning. How I longed to grow up and write books just like she did. My dad sold all my books when I was away at college. So now I don't have even a single book to mark my childhood. Someday I hope to buy them all again. If not for my child, then for myself. Those books, they were the most magical things of my childhood days.


Photo albums - No, not the ones on Facebook or Picasa. The real actual ones. The ones that you pile around when your friends come to visit. And the ones from which some guy who has a crush on you flicks a pic or two when you're not looking. The plastic ones that the studio gives with the developed photos and the negatives. They almost always have a real corny pic on the cover. I miss the feel of an album. I miss putting pics in frames and on pin boards.

Pen-pals - I never had one. But my sister did. And it was so cool. Getting an actual letter from a person living in a weird exotic country far away (okay, so maybe her pen-pal lived in the street next to ours or something, but still) I did have quite a few online-pals. Back before Facebook and Twitter was around to spoil all the mystery one could evoke about themselves. Long, long emails. I think my first email friend was a 14 year old Australian girl called Amber. Sure, "Amber" could also have been a 44 year old Indian uncle with a hairy chest and a vest with holes in it. Still, the not-knowing was splendid enough. At one phase of my life, I had more online friends than real-life friends. Now I have more imaginary friends than real-life friends.

Ink pens - The whole process of filling ink into the pen the night before school, after you're done "keeping your timetable" (that's arranging your books according to the periods the next day. Cos a bunch of jumbled out of order books would mean absolute chaos.) I couldn't figure out how to do it for the longest time. My sister had to show me. But that feeling of accomplishment when I finally nailed it! Awesome. I also miss ink cartridges, the ones with a tiny silver ball in it. Me and whole bunch of girls in school had a collection of those tiny silver balls. I also had a broken pencil points collection. Now I collect tweets. :-/

Old phones - The one with the holes that you have to stick a finger in and twirl. I used to love twirling all the numbers starting from 0 upto 9, for no apparent reason. I love the tiny ringy sound it makes. I miss the heaviness of the receiver. *sigh*

I can hear a lot of my younger readers going, wow, you are like super ultra old aren't you? (You know who you are, don't you) Yes, yes I'm old and ancient and whatever. But hey, I'm still here aren't I? So in a sense I get the best of both worlds. And also, while you write a post 15 years from now about the good ol' days of Facebook and Ipads, my great grandkids will come and tell you that you're old. So there. :P
I could go on and on and on. Don't get me wrong. I'm not like stuck in the past or anything. I'm cool with all the new things too. But just sometimes, I wish I could sneak back into the past, just for a day or two, and wallow in the simplicity of things and come back and update my Facebook status about it. :)

Tell me, what are the things that you miss the most?

Guess Where I Found Zen?



"Everyone needs to find their Zen. What do I mean by that? Zen means peace, meditation, calmness. We are conditioned to stressing and forboding and worrying, it's human nature. It's difficult for us as humans, to focus on the moment and find peace or even want it, but we do however, need peace in our lives."

Everyone has their own ways to zen.

Ross to Phoebe :

No, no don't!
 Stop cleansing my aura!
No, just leave my aura alone, okay

Of cleansing their auras. I love how Phoebe from F*R*I*E*N*D*S does it by.. well.. literally plucking out the yuckies from your aura. But for the saner lot, it's mostly yoga or music or a walk or whatever. I’ve always wondered what my aura-cleansing technique is. Well not just an aura cleanser.. but also a stress-busting, depression-dissolving, life-mending technique.

I used to sing to ease my worries. No, not just randomly sing.. I would take the pains to listen to a song and write down the lyrics.. even though I could just get it off the Internet. I like to write it down myself cos a) this usually happens in the middle of the night when I can’t sleep and I’m too lazy to turn on the computer again and b) when you write down the lyrics, you can write them down exactly how you hear it if you don’t understand what the actual words are. I don't know how thats better. But it is.

Like the song Survivor by Destiny’s Child. I swear, it goes “I’m a survivor, I’m not go-giver, I’m a bus driver, Imma work harder!”, which sounds all wrong and probably is wrong but it cracks me up so I never really tried to find out the real lyrics.

Anyway, singing usually used to work for me until my nose kept getting blocked all the time and I literally lose my breath after half the song and also its no fun when you have to sing it like “Ibha surbhiber, Ibha bhus drivher”.. It doesn’t really make you feel like a survivor.. or a bus driver for that matter.

So after that, I couldn’t figure out what to do to get rid of all those bad/sad feelings.Until I tried gardening.

It was awesome. Everytime you bring that shovel down on the hard ground, you feel like your cracking through the brains of all your murky problems in life. And when I come across a worm- forgive me all animal right-ist and worm lovers – but I squish it. And I feel better. So there I was, digging and squishing, digging and digging more than I needed to dig. With more aggression that I’ve ever felt in my life. Once I was done, I was proud of myself and resolved that this was going to be my solution to dark days forever. I'd found my zen in the mud and dirt. Everything was great until the next morning when I woke up and found that my arms had temporarily stopped function. Well okay, that’s an over-exaggeration. They did function. Except every time they tried to function, it felt like everyone of those tiny worms I squished the day before had cloned themselves to infinity and had magically made their way inside my body to bite into each inch of the little muscle that I had somewhere between all those bones. Apparently worms have got someone looking out for them too.

I had to figure out another way to unwind before I drove myself insane. I thought of yoga which seemed like the obvious way to go. But I didn’t wanna cause further damage than I had already caused. Everytime I tried yoga in the past, I’d require atleast two days of bed rest atleast until I figure out that I’m bending or twisting in the wrong direction.

That is when I came across this awesome cooking blog. I’m not gonna give you the link b'cos I found it and its mine. And you can’t have it...... It’s mine.

I’m very possessive about my blog finds. I “found” the 1000awesomethings blog and a month later, there was an article about it in the Reader’s Digest. Sure, the blog had atleast a bazillion visitors already… but I found it. :-/

So anyway, the cooking blog.. the secret cooking blog was amazing. I started to make something everyday. And wonder of wonders, everything was.. well.. sorta edible. Well ok, it wasn’t repulsive either! I mean, I was actually good at it and got better everyday. Every afternoon, I’d browse the blog and figure out what I want to make, jot down the recipe and get crackin’. It was awesome, apart from an occasional hard-as-coconut-shells biscuits, everything else was scrummilicious. I was in bliss. It went on great until one day I had my heart set on making Banana bread. I don’t even like bananas, but it just seemed like a cool thing to make! And it was simple as hell too! I went to the store and got extra butter and eggs and everything and was all excited to make it. So in the afternoon, I go to the kitchen to make my much-awaited Banana bread. I lay out all my ingredients until I notice one tiny little thing was missing. We were out of bananas.

I swear, it was like my world was falling apart! I just had to had to make it that day itself! I mean, how can we not have bananas!? We always have bananas! My house literally grew on banana trees! I have never been that terribly upset. I was literally in tears. It was like I just missed out on winning the Nobel Prize. After spending hours, mourning on my bed, I considered trying to make something else. But figured, what’s the point? When you’re looking for lemonade, life just hands you one rotten lemon after another(we were out of lemons too :-( )

I listened to sad songs, sat around in the dark and cried my eyes out. After a while, I wasn’t sure if it was about the bananas (or the lemon) anymore. With the little light coming in through the window and tears flowing down my cheeks, somehow it crossed my mind that this would make a great photograph. All artsy and stuff. Still sniffing and sobbing, but without hesitation, I picked up my phone and clicked a picture of myself... only to find that I looked positively ghastly. It made me cry even more and curse stupid actors in movies who look positively angelic while they cry. Bloody nonsense. Oh, why.. why is everything in my life going so wrong! Where the hell is my goddamn zen! Self pity, self pity and more self-pity. Ugh.

Anyhow, crying always makes me want to pee. I don’t know what the connection is. You’re losing liquid…and somehow that makes you want to lose more liquid. Anyway, I stepped into the bathroom. The bathroom was really dirty from all the mud from the garden and just murk in general. I gestured to the empty room and said to myself “This…this is my life….A big disgusting mess...” Silence.

Without a moment’s thought, I grabbed a sponge and some floor cleaner. Down on all fours, I started scrubbing. After I was done, I looked down and still wasn’t satisfied. So I grabbed hold of every single bathroom-cleaning equipment lying around including an old toothbrush of mine and did it again. This time I gave it my all, which means between the tiles and near the clogged drain. By the time I was on the last tile, I was surprised when I realised that I was actually grinning. I’ve cleaned up the “big disgusting mess”. Ok fine so maybe my life hadn't magically cleaned itself up too. But I realized that if I could clean up this great big mess, well, then no mess is too big for me!

No mess is too big for me.  That's my current aura-cleaning methodology now. I'm on my way to Zen. And to think.. of all the places, I looked.. I found mine in the bathroom. :-)

When death comes calling..

I was listening to the radio the other day and there was this thing where the RJ asked ppl to call in and answer this question - "If, hypothetically today was your last day alive, what would you do?"

And soo many ppl called up with such lame answers..

One guy stated the obvious and talked bout the whole family n friends thing..which totally turned off the RJ who was lukin for more innovative answers..Which totally got me thinking...HMMMM..

If today was my last day alive, ok no wait, gimmi a month..if this was my lastest month, I would..

Well firstly, I would freak..N then i would call everyone and inform them and gain a lottttttta sympathy...and hopefully freebies.Yay!

I'd watch all the movies where the hero/ione dies in the end and memorize all the classy dialogues and use it myself.

I would print out all my blog posts and send it to a publishing house n publish my book. Well, I did have sumthin a lil different in mind for my first book, but then heck, I'm not gonna spend my last month writing! I dunt wanna go upto heaven n be known as the girl who knocked off while Writing..That would sooo put me in the geek category. Speaking of which, thats another thing I'd do. I'd plan my death. Like say I'm gona die on Monday 4pm, I'd just go ahead and kill myself on Monday 3.59pm...in my own style. As in, I don't wana die in a boring old way, like in my sleep or something. If I know bout my forecoming death, I mite as well plan it..like we do with weddings n stuff. N do it in such a way that I get into the papers! Like skateboard off a skyscraper..no that would actually require me to know how to skateboard...no time for that.. orrr put myself in the washing machine (atleast, I'd die clean) or have a famous person strangle me orr oooh I could watch movies like Final Destination or sumthing for ideas. They have some awesome techniques. Gruesome, but reeaally cool.

And I really would'nt want to die in anyone's house. I feel that then when I come back as a ghost, I'd be like restricted within those boundaries.. which would b a huggge bummer..cos I've got a lottttta after-death plans. :-) But lets not go there now..

I would most defnitely wana fly to NYC, where I've wanted to go since forever. I would wanna eat an entire cheesecake..not a Dhs.10 slice...the whole deal.. I would'nt wana get drunk. I d rather remember every last minute of my last month.

I'd get a tattoo, maybe a lil goodbye note to my friends and family... a belly ring, actually no, chuck those two...my death mite be painful, so I probably shud'nt have to endure any sorta pain before the big event. Mayb I'll get a stick-on tattoo..

During the last week, I would first find every girl/guy I've hated and tell them why, how and how much. They say you shud tell the people u luv how much u luv em, before u die. Well, I figured, atleast those ppl have sum idea bout that, unlike the haters, where most of em have absolutely no clue cos, well, i can do one hellova fake smile. So I say, before u die, let em know, release all the hate, u dunt wana go up there with hate in your heart.

I would then like to wear a wig with long red hair and run on the street/rain wearing mismatched clothes and slap random ppl. I have alwaaaaaaaaayzz wanted to do that. Also to perform on stage. That has been I think my dream since I was a lil kid. But I've never had the chance. And I suck at dancing. Which I discovered yeste. They have those dance classes shows on tv. So i was trying it out and its like I can't multitask when it comes to dancing. I can't make both the hands and legs move together. It such a strain on the brain. So much to remember. bloody hell.

I'd buy myself boots and a dog............ and pass it on to my niece n nephew after i go, so dunt get started on the whole u-cant-take-material-things-to-heaven stuff.

I would blog one last time, I'd do this a lil early so that I can read all the comments before I go. But u really don't have to wait for me to put up my last dying blog post to start commenting, u know.

I'd maybe even reveal deep dark secrets up here. No point taking em to my grave.. I'm already taking my boots...uh i mean...maybe I could give my niece something else? I really don't think she is a boot-person.

So thats its.. There are probably a few other bazillion things too.. ooh n u know wat, in an attempt to reduce air, water n land pollution, I would not want my body to be burnt, drownt or buried. I would want it to be put up in space. Like sorta just floating along with the meteors n stuff. N the astronaut people would have something to welcome them there..like a receptionist or sumthin..or an air-hostess..literally!ha!

So thats really it. So I'm gonna go wait for that ol' reaper guy to come callin.. Until then, live it,king size!