This is a question that has been sitting with me for about 2 years now. I'm not quite sure how it started. Maybe some reel. I spent many days thinking about it. Came up with a whole list, figured I should write about it before I forget about it. And before kindness becomes something you just write about.
1. I was talking to a guy I’d become friends with in college. We were sitting on a stone ledge facing the football ground. After countless days of texting, this was the first time we were talking in person. So safe to say, I was nervous as f. The conversation was flowing though, and I was slowly breaking out of my awkward phase.
He was pretty popular. Lots of friends. So soon a group of them stopped by to talk to him. They greeted me dismissively and continued their chatter. Some of them even sat down. Before I knew it, 4-5 people were sitting between us, with both of us stuck at either end of the row. They were loud. Laughing. Talking over each other.
I was slowly getting ready to slip away when he suddenly got up, walked all the way around to my corner, sat down next to me and said, “So… where were we?” I couldn’t stop smiling. It was a good day.
2. I was down with chickenpox and feeling like hell. I had a high fever, had boils all over my body. was on my period and I was itchy as f. My mom was by my side all the time, feeding me, helping me soothe my itch.
One night, I just couldn't sleep. She came into the room with a bunch of my cassettes.. my favourite boy bands at the time saying - "Dha, idhoke alle ninde aalkare" and played all my music for me till I fell asleep. I mean, she had been nothing but kind to me ever since the chickenpox started, but this small thing, something she didn't really have to but still thought of.. it was so sweet.
3. During recess, I was walking around with a friend when a little kid, maybe 8 or 9, walked up to me and said, “Chechi, you’re so beautiful.”
I don’t know if it was part of a dare or something. But I was caught off guard and genuinely touched. Little kids telling you you’re beautiful >>>> any random stupid boy saying it.
4. I had just started college. Being a true-blue NRI, I knew nothing about how to live or survive in India, let alone Coimbatore. Especially how to use public transport. The first couple of weekends, my mom would get a car and driver and come all the way from Kochi (where we were living at the time) to pick me up and drop me back. Eventually, she realized that it wasn't sustainable, especially when I was this severely homesick girl who cried to come home every weekend.
After one weekend, they came to the decision that it was time for me to travel back by bus. My sister, who was doing her MBA in Kochi at the time and had had about 4–5 years to get accustomed to the Indian way of living, gave me step-by-step instructions. Which bus, which stop, how much a ticket would cost.. everything.
When Monday morning came, the both of us were at the bus stop. She kept talking to me, telling me I can do it, it'll be okay, while I pretty much just whimpered in fear. The bus arrived, and I got in almost on the verge of tears. She peered at me from outside for a bit. And in the next minute, she wordlessly got into the bus with me.
I forgot about crying and broke into a big, huge grin and squeezed her hand. She looked at me with an exasperated “Ugh, the things I have to do” look and stood next to me all the way to Coimbatore. Hours later, the bus stopped right outside my college. She waved me off quickly and, without losing a minute, boarded the next bus back to Kochi so that she could reach her college on time.
So whenever my sisters accuse me of being spoilt rotten, I guess I can't really disagree.
5. After my 1st trimester, I travelled to Dubai with H. When I entered our room, the whole ceiling and walls were covered with those glow-in-the-dark stars and moon. Like, absolutely filled. And since the ceilings were pretty high up and we had no ladder in the house, he had apparently stuck them one by one by attaching each star and moon to the end of a long pole. One at a time. Which I'm guessing would have taken hours and hours because the place was completely packed with stars.
I don't know if it was the hormones but that made me positively bawl.
6. I had desperately wanted a new stereo set. I had cut out and stuck a picture of the one I wanted on my bedroom wall. And I'd keep counting my pocket money every day to see how long it would take for me to save up for it (it was a very, very long way).
One day, I came home from school. I remember I was eating slices of green apple. I opened my bedroom door and almost choked on the apple. Because there on my table was this brand-new, gorgeous, huge silver stereo. It wasn't the one I wanted; it was even bigger, with surround sound and everything. I nearly fainted. I was so, so, so happy.
I remember going up to my dad but not being able to say anything, just smiling from ear to ear. Later, I wrote “Thank you so so much. I love you.” on a post-it and stuck it in his room. Weirdly, that's like the only time I remember saying I love you to my dad.
7. We'd moved back to India after about 15 years in the UAE, and I missed it very, very much. My sister, who was still in Dubai, chumma sent me a huge care package on a very random day. I don't remember what all it had, but I remember feeling like she had sent me a piece of home again.
8. It was the first time I was travelling by myself. No sister this time. Coimbatore to Kochi via bus. It was cultural day at college, so I boarded pretty late, so it was dark by the time the bus got to Kochi. The movie Nammal was playing on the bus. I got so lost in the movie that I forgot to get down at my stop. Instead, I got down at some other stop, called my sister and mom, who started freaking out, trying to explain to them where I was in this strange city I knew nothing about (this was way before location-sharing and Google Maps or even WhatsApp).
I was too stupid to realize why they were freaking out so much. I was standing right outside a bar. A few strange men walked past me, eyeing me from top to bottom. That's when it actually hit me. Few minutes later, the men came back and asked, “Endha ivide nikkunne?” I looked away, pretending I didn't hear them while my teeth almost clattered in fear.
But somehow, magically at that moment, I looked past them and saw my sister stepping out of a car, waving at me. She had asked her best friend Sadaq to help track me down. The mad sense of relief I felt. I ran to the car, got into the backseat and burst out crying. Her friend kept saying, “Paavam, vazhak onnum parayanda, allengile pedich varand irikkya.” I think my sister cried too. I have no idea how he managed to find me but I also don't know what or where I would have been if he hadn't been there that night.
9. I lost my camcorder on a bus. And as always, my first instinct was to cry a whole bunch. Then a group of people from my college... people I don't even know that well, got together to help me track it down and file a complaint. I still honestly am not sure who those people were, which department or anything, but the fact that they took time to help out a snivelling, teary-eyed fresher was really heartfelt.
10. Was randomly craving masala dosa. So I posted a silly story saying I was manifesting dosa or something. Cut to an hour later, a nice, hot, piping masala dosa gets delivered to my house. My sweet, sweet cousin saw my story and decided to send me one. I was so surprised and grateful. The kids and I dug into it and polished it off in minutes.
We were happy enough, but then a little later, the doorbell rang again. Someone has sent us a whole freaking ice cream cake! A full cake. On just a random regular day. Apparently, my cousins along with my dearest friend, decided the dosa was not enough and pitched in to send us a cake. I was smiling all day long. Getting gifts on your birthday and all is fine, but getting sent food veruthey on a random day is just a different kind of love language.
11. We'd moved out of the college hostel and the food was a drag. My friend Roopa went all mother-mode on me and took it upon herself to get some good, healthy food into me. So every morning I'd wake up to pretty much breakfast-in-bed. She made oats and different types of eggs, cut fresh fruits and God knows what all.
Sometimes I wonder what I did to ever deserve this kind of queen treatment from her, but that's just who she is. She takes care of people. And she's definitely one of the main reasons I survived college without getting killed or arrested.
12. My dad and I had a big fight. I don't even remember why. It was a big one and I think he hit me. I went to bed crying. The next day, I woke up to my room covered with Post-its (yeah, Post-its were a huge part of our communication back then) with “I'm Sorry” written on them. I think he used up an entire book. And there was also an “I'm sorry” greeting card as well. I still have all those Post-its and the card.
Oh, and another time, I got mad at him and he put on my mom's nightie to make me laugh.
13. It was during the last year of college. My boyfriend at the time and I had a big fight (apparently, all my stories start with fights). We were out on his bike after a big shouting match, both grumpy.
All of a sudden, he pulled to the side of the road. For a minute, I thought he was going to leave me there and go. But he got off the bike and took out my eye drops. I had been suffering from a horrendous eye infection and had to put the drops at regular intervals. He wordlessly put two drops in each of my eyes, got back on the bike and started driving again. That memory still makes me smile.
14. My niece J was watching me make D laugh. I don't know what I was doing, but she was laughing pretty hard, you know, those uncontrolled laughs from the belly. J kept watching us, smiling to herself and then said to me "You're a good mom, Mema. You make her happy."
I almost burst into tears. J was probably all of 9 or 10 at the time. But somehow that validation from this child was just what I needed at the time after so many, many many moments of doubting myself. Of wondering if I was doing anything right at all.
Also, when a child says it, it's literally feedback from the target peer group, right? I felt so proud that day.
I'm sure there are many many more that I'll think later. Maybe I'll come back here and keep adding onto this.
So over the past two years, I’ve asked a bunch of people about the kindest thing anyone has ever done for them.
I love these answers. Sometimes I go back and reread them, just to remind myself that there is still so much kindness left in this world. I know these may not be grand, cinematic gestures. Most of them are small, almost ordinary moments. But sometimes the littlest things you do or say can stay with someone for years and become a core memory. They can even end up on my weird little blog.
So seriously, go be kind. It matters more than you think.
The Kind Chronicles
I got caught cheating on the 10th grade math first-term exam by the invigilator. I had written formulas in faint pencil on the back side of my writing pad. Normally, it’s either one of the below — straight to the principal. Or the benevolent ones take the paper and say leave, which basically shows up as zero or absent. This guy took my paper, threw it in the trash can, gave me a new set of papers and said, “NOW write.” This itself is a big deal because you avoid going to the principal who informs parents. This is a core memory.
Oh, I remember one. So when I was in college, I used to practice for a marathon. I would run in and around campus. One day, a girl in a wheelchair stopped me and said, “You’re an inspiration for me to do sports.” I was stunned. I couldn’t take it.
It’s my brother.
After a very tough breakup, I was very upset and nearing depression. My brother was super worried. He wasn’t financially stable at that time. He was struggling.But seeing me suffer, he used to call me almost daily and talk about random stuff. I knew he didn’t have much to discuss with me, but he still called every day. And I was a shopaholic by nature. So he gave me some money at the end of the month saying, “Here you go, this is your breakup ninn purath varaan ulla fund. Go shop all you want and try to come out of this phase.”
Then there was this YJHD-kind-of Manali trip from college. Again, I was hesitant because of my family’s financial state as it was quite costly. But my brother was an angel there too. He helped me get money for the trip and convinced my parents as well.
He made my breakup phase one of the most memorable phases of my life.
So many. The woman who manned the toilets at Mysore bus stand letting me pee for free.
People who just took care of me during my major crisis.
Kids in the park who made me play football with them when I was very low.
You, who made my Omana Penne video and made me feel pretty and aww.
Dad who went back to town and bought ice cream because I randomly asked, “Where’s mine?”
My mom, who has a bad knee, asking some random fuel station if they have juice because I was hangry after a flight.
This happened when I was in class 2. In a test paper, I put the wrong question numbers on the answer sheet and got really low marks. I was this padippist kid who scored good marks in all tests, so I felt really sad that day. When Achan came back from work, I took the paper to him to get it signed. I was this close to crying. I thought he might feel bad about my marks. But he just looked at me with the same smile and gave me the same warm hug like every other time. He hugged and kissed me and told me that it was okay. I think that is the nicest thing anybody has ever said or done for me.
Okay, ithu parayam… So I am Christian and we have this Vacation Bible School thing. It’s basically a jolly camp-like session for a few days. Right after my 12th, I got a chance to take classes for a group of kids in the juniors division — basically kids aged 9–11.
On the final day, a few of them came up to me and gave me cards they made. It had things like, “You were the best teacher we could ask for,” “Happy to have got an achacha like you,” angane angane…
That was too nice for me. I mean, them making time and saying things like that meant a lot.
- You listening patiently to all my twisted stories and helping me figure them out, even if they were silly.
- I went with my friend to eat one day, so before I could say something, he already told the waiter what I wanted. He was like, “I know that’s your favourite.”
- I ordered a bag from Amazon and there was supposed to be a golden charm on it, but there wasn’t. I kept telling my friend about it. After a few months, I forgot about it, and then he was like, “I got something for you.” It was a golden charm with 9 ¾ on it (HP reference).
- My sister knowing that I was crying, chumma ketpidichu without saying anything.
- When I’m in so much pain, Mummy says “sheriyavum” and gives a peck on my forehead.
- Kure munne I told Papa I like Thar. Even I forgot about it. But every time he sees a Thar, he makes sure I see it. “Nok nok, ninte Thar povunnu.”
Once a girl saved me from a road accident. My grandfather had passed away and I had gone to my hometown. I reached back in Bangalore early morning. I was sad and sleep-deprived and was crossing a road. It was a six-lane road and I couldn’t estimate the timing properly, but I went ahead.
I saw a truck speeding towards me, but I was frozen. This girl came forward and pulled me back. After that I was shivering and couldn’t even walk properly. Without saying anything, she took my hand and made me cross the road with her. As soon as we crossed, she let go of my hand and walked away. We never spoke. I never even said thank you. But if I’m alive today, it is because of her. Maybe my grandfather had sent her.
Valiya karyam onnum ormma varunnilla. But njangade oru teacher undayirunnu, 6–7th time il. Avarde classil njangal lesham alambu aayirunnu. Class cut cheythu school anniversary programs, culturals ennokke paranju irangi pokum, pinnem vere enthokkeyo. Avarkk athra ishtam aayirunnilla njangale.
But njangade aa schoolile last year (7th) send-off time il njangal oru skit cheythu. Ellarum vannu congratulate cheythu, but avar paranjath enikk ippozhum ormma und — “Ningal veluthayittu cinemayil okke kayarum, nalla program aayirunnu, kure chirichu.”
I didn’t expect that from her. Veruthe paranjathalla enn ariyam. Pullikari athinu munne nallathonnum karyamayittu paranjittilla. So athu njan orikkalum marannittilla.
When I lived in Delhi, I didn’t have money to order food. With the little money left, I ordered just fried rice. There was a kind delivery guy. He also gave me another parcel of chilli chicken along with it, saying, “Ye tum rakh lo.”
Enikk food poisoning adichu, two days food kazhikkathe nadakkukayirunnu. Meanwhile room shifting and roomie problems were also going on. Appo I went to my new landlord aunty. Njan onnum paranjilla, but she understood. She made garam garam roti and fed me, gave money from the deposit I had given her, and asked me to go to the hospital. That’s when I got to know I was actually sick. Though she became cray-cray later on, she and her whole family treated me like their child. Took me to family functions, called me out of all the PG girls to celebrate Diwali at their home, even started food service because I was getting food poisoning a lot.
Last month I was travelling in an auto. The auto stopped at a red light. Kore book ayittu oru chettan vannu. Njan nokkilla, but he saw me and was like yes, target locked, and smiled at me. Book avasanam njan medichu, pesi pesi, but appozhekkum signal green ayi. He didn’t wait for me to pay. He just kept the book in the auto as it moved past him. It moved me a lot.
When I was going through tough times, one of my online friends who’s far away in Australia just dropped everything to video call me. I didn’t even realise I needed to speak about it to anyone, but she understood what I was going through. I needed that. It took a lot of weight off my head.
My friends took me out at night to help me learn driving.
I mean, there are a lot of things friends do.Thinking about it now, I don’t think I’ve appreciated them enough for that.
- These two people gave me one of the best birthdays ever. Every time I thought the surprise was over, things kept coming up again and again. I felt so fricking loved.
- Enikk pand escalator use cheyyan pedi aayirunnu. So I went out with my cousins to a mall. Ann njan 6th-il aayirunnu. I got lost and they went to the upper floor, and the only way to go there was to use the escalator. I stood in front of it, lost and scared because the place was crowded. One random chettan (very cute) came and held my hand and helped me use the escalator, and I was reunited with my family.
So one day, when I was feeling burnt out and couldn’t get out of my bed, a friend of mine came and sat with me. She just came and existed with me. Then she ordered mandhi (which is one of my favourite foods) and made me eat. To have someone care about you like that makes you feel a lot better.
When I was in 9th, a new principal joined. a tough character. I was the assistant head boy, so she used to call me from time to time to enquire about stuff. Since I was a padippi, most of the teachers had a good impression of me.
One time, there was some issue and I argued with her. She said, “Look boy, you are not a wunderkind. You’re not a special boy. You’re just an above-average kid. Always remember that. The celebrity status that you enjoy in the school right now is a result of your hard work. Never think that it’s some kind of gift because you won’t always have it. The moment you waver from your work, this image will fade. So don’t get too used to this image.”
When I heard this, I felt furious. I was someone who enjoyed the spotlight. But her words echoed within me. I think it made me a better person. I think about it even now. It helps ground me. Even if she said it in a hurtful way, I like that she said it.
I was in school back then. After fourth grade, I used to walk to school since it was only about 1 km from my home. I don’t exactly remember which class I was in at that time. One day, after school, while I was walking back home, there was some road work going on. My village starts with a sloping road going down, with a big pond on one side (it wasn’t properly covered back then) and fields on the other side. There was a lot of noise from machines and people working with tar and grease. I was confused and a bit scared.
Then, a kind person held my hand. I think she was in higher secondary or maybe college because she was wearing a uniform. She helped me cross the road safely and guided me towards my village.
I don’t know if this is a “kind” story or not. To me, it feels a bit embarrassing… and also something I wish I had done differently. I should have at least asked her name and said thank you. After we crossed, she let go of my hand. I didn’t even look back. I just walked away. Even today, in my random thoughts, I still wish I had thanked her.
A friend of mine offered to apply for a loan when we were not able to 😄
Which is a dumb thing, but I was surprised when she said this.
My grandfather had Alzheimer’s, and I can’t remember how old I was then. He only knew my grandmother and didn’t really remember anyone else much.
One afternoon I was asleep, or pretending to be. I had woken up five or ten minutes earlier but was still lying down. The bedroom door is always wide open in our house. My grandfather came in, saw me “sleeping,” took a blanket, put it over me, and left.
It was one of the sweetest things I’ve seen someone do, especially when he must have thought I didn’t notice. I’m not even sure he knew who I was.
When my dad lost his job, one of my best friends told me that they’re here for us if we need anything. It’s something I already knew. But the way she said it made me emotional. It hit me straight in the feels. This was the first thing I thought of when I saw the question.
A couple of my friends wanted to watch 1983. I was so excited. It was the first time I was going to the movies with friends. We watched the film. I came back happy. And then they ghosted me. After that day, whenever I tried to meet them, they avoided me. I never really understood what changed. Ever since then, I started going to the movies alone. It felt easier than risking that kind of rejection again.
Later, I told my girlfriend at the time (now my ex) about what had happened. The first thing she said was, “What they did was bad.” I don’t know why, but something shifted when she said that. That day, I felt lighter.
After that, when friends called me to watch a movie, I started saying yes again. Slowly, I felt a bit more confident going with people instead of defaulting to going alone. I’m still grateful to her for that one sentence.
It was from a stranger. And this was in 2021 when I was at a cafe with my son who was just a toddler then. So he chose that exact moment to have a major meltdown. I was having a tough time comforting him, and then this person comes along, does some random antics, and somehow manages to cheer him up. He then tells me that I’m doing great as a mom, and honestly, I needed to hear that at that moment because I’d always thought I was messing up. I don’t know if this is really the kindest thing anyone’s done for me, but this is what’s striking me right now. And I don’t think I’ll ever forget it, especially because those are words I don’t often hear from people close to me.
This was during my engineering days. Money was tight back then. I barely had enough for my bus fare home most days. That was when Drishyam had just released. All my friends suddenly decided we should go watch it. We were standing at the bus stop when the plan was made, and before I knew it, they were all ready to board the next bus to the theatre.
I really wanted to go. But I only had enough money for my ride back home. So I told them no, I’m not coming. They got on the bus. I stood there and watched them leave, feeling this heavy mix of sadness and embarrassment. I tried to act like it was fine.
Just as the bus was about to leave, one of my friends suddenly jumped off, grabbed my arm, and pulled me toward the door. “Eda, set aakum. Ticket ella nyan edka,” he said.
And just like that, I was on the bus with them. And we watched Drishyam together. I was really really touched by that. I’ve had many friend circles over the years, but someone insisting that I be there, that my presence mattered enough to jump off a bus for, that was a first. I'll never forget that.
My grandfather had Alzheimer’s. I can’t remember how old I was then. He only really remembered my grandmother and didn’t recognize anyone else much. One afternoon, I was asleep — or at least pretending to be. I had woken up five or ten minutes earlier but was still lying down. The bedroom door is always left wide open in our house. My grandfather came in, saw me “sleeping,” took a blanket, gently put it over me, and left. It was one of the sweetest things I’ve ever seen someone do, especially when he must have thought I didn’t notice. I’m not even sure he knew who I was.
When my dad lost his job, one of my best friends told me that they were there for us if we needed anything. It’s something I already knew, but the way she said it made me emotional — it really hit me straight in the feels.
My birthday was coming up and my mother wasn't sure what to get me. She asked her friends and colleagues what a boy my age would generally like. Finally, knowing how much I loved the composer, she managed to get me a mixed tape full of AR Rahman songs. She could have gotten me anything and I would have been happy but the fact that she went through all the trouble to get me something I would love was just so sweet.♡
