Through My Rose-Colored Glasses

Remember a time when we used to pick on the kid in class who wore glasses? Well, I don't cos I was that kid. I never got what the big deal was anyway. I always wanted to get glasses. I even lied to the ophthalmologist, pretending I could'nt read the white-light board. That was okay, cos I was headed for short-sightedness sooner or later cos of all the reading under the blanket/table with a torchlight and sitting too close to the computer. But then I was psyched when I got my first pair when I was bout 9 or 10. Was those cheap plasticy ones that you could throw down a building and it would'nt break (yes, I've tried that). As much as I loved how grown up and important I looked with em on, I could'nt quite get used to something stuck on my face. So I kept leaving it around. And losing it. I must've lost around 4 to 5 pairs like that.

Then I got these super huge ones black round ones, the damn thing was bigger than my face. It got me my nickname -Dilton. And I was kinda cool with that. And I was slowly getting used to the alien object perched on my nose.In fact, I was getting so used to it that I had them on all the time...even while bathing! And sometimes while sleeping. So I had to throw that one away cos of all the wear and tear it underwent. I don't remember a few pairs I had in between.

Later I had these funky blue ones. Like Elton John's. No...not quite,no. I think those were my last pair. No, I did'nt magically regain my sight after that. I moved up to contact lenses.

Now these lil suckers can be tricky at first. I sure was'nt comfortable with having to poke my eyeball with my finger. So I had to let my experienced sister do it for me for the first coupla weeks. Each eye took bout half an hour. I applaud my sister's patience. Though I do think she tried to poke my eyeball out intentionally a coupla times.

I hated the whole washing and cleaning and added responsibility that comes with contacts and the way I constantly pushed an invisible specs up the bridge of my nose, every five minutes. But I got sorta grew into it. Now I'm a total pro at contacts. Now I can put em on with my eyes closed...well...no..not really..its an expression..you get what I mean! Oh, I got a better one. Now I can put em on in the dark or even when I'm really really drunk.

So halfway through college, I was in a phase where I would'nt be caught dead wearing my glasses inside the campus. One time, I even ran outta contacts and I had to go someplace and I refused to step out wearing my glasses so I just held on to my friend so that she could lead the way and told her to inform me if anyone I know smiles at me from a distance. And my dear friend pointed out to a lotta random strangers every now and then and told me to smile. And I did. Not the decent small smile. The big huge gums and teeth and everythin beaaaming smile. I have no idea why I smiled like that. Maybe I was having a really good day or something. So yeah ha ha funny funny. Geez.

Then I got these ULTRA-COOL (well, at the point they were) square-shaped black frame glasses. And I could'nt stop wearing them! It totally gave me the mature look (15 years later and I was still depending on my glasses to make me look mature) Not the nerdy mature, the attitude-mature look. Although one of my friends did tell me I look like Johnny Bravo's mom. Hmm...

How I lost those glasses...I don't like to remember that story. I was in the bathroom, on the pot. I sneezed. It dropped off my face and fell in there. As much as I loved those glasses, I wasn't about to go in there. So I flushed. :-(

The one after that broke one of its legs so I stuck it on with cello-tape and used it for about a month.

And then my current one. Which was cool when I got em, but its sooo common that it makes me sick. But I use em 24/7. And I'm beyond caring how I look nowadays. So its all good.

Besides, everyone wears glasses nowadays! Even if they don't need it! I mean why do people get em for a power of 0.2 in one eye! Yeesh. Thats a disgrace to the near-sighted community. Few of my friends have got 4 or 5 pairs. Like accessories. To go with their clothes. I mean, is that like normal these days? Is everyone doin that? Should I go spectacle shopping now? Are they selling frames like for 10 bucks now?

I'm not into the whole laser or was it lasik (wait,was'nt that the first dog on space or something?) surgery thingy. Not that I would'nt enjoy having laser beamy things shot into my eyes. I just happen to love the fact that I can't see everything! I know thats weird. But there are so many things on earth I would rather not just see. Like dirt,muck, pollution, dirt, ickiness, gooey gross things, hairy men, war and stuff. I can just take off my glasses and slip into blessed blurriness. You can't ever do that if you have healthy eyes. Sure, I mite bump into people or walk into a glass door or go raving mad when I misplace my glasses, but for me the benefits list run longer. So cherish your glasses, I say!

What's Your Raashee?

"Whats your raashee?"... I am sooo hyped about that movie. I have'nt watched it yet, cos this middle-of-nowhere place where I live chose to not release it here.

I'm not a big fan of any of the actors init or the dircetor... just the concept...Its soo like noone has ever done a movie on that before...that I know of, that is.

When the first trailor came out n I realised what its all about, I was like WHAAAHOOOOOWWW!! Ok, maybe i should tell you this... I'm an absolute freak when it comes to sun signs n zodiac signs and horoscopes. I love love love it! Ive read lota books on it and there was this one time I could'nt decide how my day is gona go without reading my horoscope in the paper first. Ok maybe not thaat crazy nowadays, but man I just love the concept. The world divided into 12 groups not based on color caste creed or anythin... but based on their raashee..

I'm a Scorpion and I could'nt be happier bout it. It's like the only cool thing in my life! I don't have a cool name or a surname or cool clothes or hairdo. I'm practically vanilla! But everyone knows Scorpions are actually Very Cool people. So even if I've got ketchup on my chin and total bed-hair sorta day, you look someone in the eye and tell them your zodiac sign is Scorpio...they look at you differently. Well, maybe atleast 5 in a million people. I know I do. In fact at one point, everytime I met a new guy I had to read up on their sun signs to decide if he's worth my time. Ok yes now that sounds a lil dumb even to myself but trust me..more often than not, it really worked!

I think these sun signs books are the best kinda self-help books. Be it Linda Goodman (speaking of which, whoever's got my Linda Goodman book, please return it and I mite even return all the books I've flicked from you) or Majorie Orr or that other author whose name I forgot, even if you don't believe in the whole raashee thing, I'd say read it. I think it boosts your confidence no end! Like they tell you your like this n that n this n that...and even if ur not, you'll be like..wow..maybe I am like that.. and unconciously you tend to turn into that. You get it?

I love re-reading them when I'm a lil low on self-esteem or anythin.. Oh, and you need to skip the part where they talk bout your negatives... you could read the negatives of all the people you dislike and be happy bout it.

Ok here is my take on the diff zodiac signs.. n this is not based on any book. This is based on my personal relationship with people under that sign.

Aries - I don't know a lotta Arians apart from my roommate of 5 years. I remember reading a sign book in which it says " You Arian buddy is most likely to strangle you (Scorpions) with a sock." Ever since I ve been a bit weary bout leaving any socks lying around in the room. Oh and I do believe we have very little in common. They're extremly hard-working, focused and a lil looney.

Taurus - Don't have many bulls in my life. I've just heard they're extremely stubborn and hot-tempered.. no personal experience as such.

Gemini - Lotsa Gemini buddys. And I apparently get along with them extremely well. I know one Gemini person whose gonna read that and go "Ha! Yeah right!" C'mon, man..we did get along real well until you started being such a pain. Oh thats another thing bout Geminis. They start off being the perfect companion until one fine day they just decide to IRRITATE the hell outta you. And that thing they say bout them bein two-faced? True, to a certain extend... No actually you know wat? No true to the whole extend... hmm.. but I really do get along with em otherwise :-P Life of the party. Makes friends easy. Very blah blah blah.

Cancer - extremely serious people, I suppose. Cant think of any cancerian friends.

Leo - I get along with them too pretty well. But I don't think Leos understand the way Scorpions are. As in their principles and philospies in life differ. If they choose to ignore that and be happy with each other then well and good. Else it goes down the drain. Leos basically cheerful, likable, charming. Unlike what is normally said I don't think they stick out in a crowd or anythin.. at first..until they start talking... I really like this sign :-)

Virgo - hmmm nope know nothing bout this one.. I did have a virgo friend.. I just don't remember who that was now.

Libra - Hmm... Librans n I have this love-hate relationship. I love em to death. And I get along with em real well. But we're so different sometimes I just cant stand the way they're so different from me! Its like They'll be like lets eat the bourbon biscuit just like that and not lick the cream off in between them first. I'll be like WHY?WHY?WHY would anyone wanna do something like that??? But other than that they're super nice people. One of my sisters is Libran.. :-)

SCORPIO - I think they're the best sign in the world :-) (duh) They're fun! Kinda two-faced like geminis but in a nicer sense :-P My other sister is Scorpion like me. But she's a cusp..as in half Libran and half Scorpion. So that does'nt really count.. thats wat I alwayz tell her. I agree with how they say in the movie "Whats your Rashee" that they're different people in front of different people. Thats really true. Scoripions probably wont get along with scorpions cos they're sooo damn similar... I mean they'll have their fun.. but in the end they'll both be bitching bout each other to other people.

Sagittariaus - I love these people. They're extremly nice. You can talk to them for hours. And they have this hidden wild streak in them too which is not quite evident to a lotta people. I love em. I wanna end up with a Sagittarian someday.

Capricorn - My mom is a Capricorn...so i think they're pretty awesome. Working tirelessly, understanding and caring. The greatest cook ever. Can put up with a lotta shit.

Aquarius- i know nuthin bout this one.

Pisces - My dad is Pisces.. I'm supposed to be most compatible with this sign..but I dunno. Guess I am to a certain extend. We do get along when we're not disagreeing to what each other says. Very sensitive people. Loves to please others. Not the bestest mind reader.

ok this is just my take on these signs. Sorry bout the ones I dunt know anythin bout. Maybe Ill fill it in when I figure it out..

Are you into horoscopes too? Let me know if you agree to anythin I've mentioned up there...And also don't forget to mention - Whats your raashee? :-)

Baby Blues

I have the baby blues. As in I really think I need to have a baby. Right now would be a very good time for me to have a baby. I mean sure, I'm not married yet. I'm not even sure if I'm at the legal age to have babies. There is one, rite? Legal age for baby production? Anyway, why I said that this is a good time is cos I've been around babies for so long that nowadays when I watch ads with lil babies in em, I get this whole maternal thingy stirring inside. I'm all like awwwwwwwwww..not the normal regular aw cute...this is the drawn out, longing, wistful awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww *sigh*. Sometimes I even tear up. Now this can't be a good thing. And it just means that I need to have a kid. I'm not ready for marriage sure...but kids, i think i can handle it.

Some people have this calling. And all this while I was confused bout what mine is. Now I'm thinking, its most defnitely gotta be sumthin to do with kids. Cos, man I'm seriously good with em. I mean, I used to like kids ok. The regular amount. I even used to tell some people that I dunt like kids cos I didnt wana seem like the girly girl coochie coo baby luver (I'm not. I dunt go all "coochie coo" shit.. I'm all like Sup Baybeh!) I've been babysitting ever since I was 13 or so. Its just recently that people has been tellin me Im sooo good with babies. And thats when I realise I shud test these super powers of mine. Every new baby is a challenge. People think its easy to win over a baby. Trust me, its no easier than winning over a pretty girl. (but yeah its almost as easy as getting a guy to think ur interested)

So nowadays, every baby I see, its like I just haave to make em like me. I'm like the baby playa. But i don't play with their feelings and not call them after I say I will. Or atleast I try not to do dat. Once, I'm pretty sure where I stand with my baby skills, maybe I'll think of doing something with it.

When I paint or draw or read n stuff, sure it makes me happy. But when I'm with a baby, and that first smile it flashes at you as a sign of "ok-ur-in", man...that smile can just turn your heart into pulp. Thats like a whole different level of happy.

When people think bout babies, the only thing they talk bout it dirty diapers...and sleepless nights. I mean c'mon..there is soo much more to babies than that. People who has never really dealt with babies won't really know this cos they rely on 2ndory info and hear just bout the 6 kilo diapers and 6am feeding time. They don't hear bout the smile that I told u bout earlier, or the warmth u feel inside n out when they fall asleep on ur chest, or the pride you feel when they choose to run into ur arms when they're scared, or bout how hard you laughed wen they make that funny face wen they poop, or how you heart breaks when their smiles crumble into tears when you wave goodbye......

...

.....

Okay so i got a lil too senti there... I told u, the whole maternal thingy is getting to me.

So, basically what I'm tryin to say is...well I'm not sure. I just wana dedicate this post to my niece n nephew...my number one babies...miss u guys soo soo much. Now I actually get what Saif Ali Khan was talkin bout in that ad when he said "I miss u so much..it hurts!"

oh and mwah mwah to all the other lil babies out there... Sup Baybehz!

Are The Fine Arts Edging Towards An End In India?

In the wake of commercialization, fine arts is being edged out by professional courses .Increasing number of people have begun abandoning their passions for the arts in order to pursue careers in professional fields. Despite having over 190 institutions across India which caters to the fine arts (which includes not just painting and sculpture but also performing arts like drama, music and dance), the future M.F.Hussains and Ravi Shankars are now found inside operation theaters or at construction sites or spending sleepless nights in front of a computer screen, frittering away their God-given talents.

Today the average fee for professional course like medicine or engineering comes up to 4.5 lakhs approximately, whereas the fees demanded by a specialized course in fine arts may begin at Rs.50,000 per annum. For an individual aspiring for a career in the field of fine arts, the issue of income may prove problematic because mere talent, perseverance and dedication is no longer sufficient to ascertain a comfortable lifestyle. Factors like luck, contacts and the right break at the right time plays an important role when it comes to securing a steady future as an artiste. In the present times, where an IT professional is given a firm assurance of an income higher than that of an arts-related person, demand for these jobs are reducing considerably.

Even parents discourage their children from considering the possibility of a career in the fine arts field inspite of having pushed them into taking up painting, music or dance as a co-curricular activity throughout their school life. The fear of being cast as a social stigma attributes for this indifference. Noone is ready to attempt anything that will jeopardize the society’s opinion about them.

Unlike those residing abroad who thrive on creativity, here in India, right from he beginning, we are taught how to memorize not how to create. Only a very minimal number of schools have included any of the traditional arts under its normal curriculum. But what about all those students who graduate from the numerous colleges that specialize in fine arts? What has happened to those who aspire to be artists, sculptors, dancers, musicians and craftsmen? They evolve into graphic designers, photographers, animators, choreographers and sound engineers. Technology is the key word here. Traditional arts are being side-lined by its modern technology-driven forms. The emergence of reality singing and dance shows provide an opportunity for amateur singers or dancers to jump right into stardom, skipping the various levels of training in between that most of the veterans in the field have undergone.

Reforms must be taken for the rejuvenation of fine arts as a traditional if not a professional art form. However the positive side of relegating fine arts to sidelines is that in today’s age where everyone is thriving towards a technologically-rich tomorrow, the contributions by the fine arts to make the world more techno-savvy or futuristic is considerably meager. It can still be adopted as a soul soother amidst the dreary routine of the working class today. Hopefully in future, there will emerge a job which is related to fine arts that will arouse as much or even more demand as that of an IT-based job today.


How is This for Inspiration?

The world’s most expensive painting sold to date, Jackson Pollock’s “No. 5 1948” was claimed to have fetched about $150 million (Rs. 5,600,000,000 approx.)

Brancusi's "Bird in Space",the world’s most expensive sculpture was sold for an amount of $27.45 million (Rs. 978,000,000 approx.), plus buyer's premium.

Kathak performing artist-teacher-choreographer Anjani Ambegaokar.was the first Indian dancer to be honored with the National Heritage Fellowship by the National Endowment for the Arts in Washington D.C.,which is the the nation’s highest honor in the folk and traditional arts, which includes a one-time award of $20,000 (Rs.800,000).

Courses catering to Fine Arts

Dance and Music

BA & MA Dance
BFA & MFA Dance
Course in Khatak & Bharathnatyam
BA & MA Music
BA Tabla & Sitar

Painting and Sculpting

BFA & MFA Painting
MFA Painting
BA & BFA Sculptor
Diploma in Sculptor

I wrote this a few years back for an online mag.Never got published. Worked on it for like weeks. Came across it tday. can't believe I wrote all that. So damn serious and stuffy. Hmm.. so this is the other side of me. Nah not really. Dunno how i pulled this one off.
So here is my first Informative post.Don't fall asleep in the middle.

The Mighty Giants

Ok this is a decades old story that got forgotten with time...

Long long ago, when the earth was a lot more simpler, there used to be these giants who lived in caves.They hardly ever came outta these caves. So like one fine day, the humans invented the railway system. And this..for sum reason or the other, pissed off the fire demons. So in protest, they set all the railway stations and trains on fire. The humans were devaasted. Cos this was like a massive fire..like the great London Fire. And..and to make it worse..this was during a drought. So like they could'nt put it out even if they wanted to. So this one lil genious guy came up with a plan. And so a whole bunch of the humans went up to the giants sleeping in the caves, and pleaded to them to help them. It took a lil persuading, but finally the giants agreed to help out. So out they came and rushed towards the stations. They took in the situation. And then the great heros unzipped their pants and peed all over the stations and trains, thus saving us our biggest mode of transportation. So this is why, everytime you are in a train or a station, u are enveloped with the nauseating smell of urine. The smell of their heroic deed decades ago. The end.

I thought this up in the train last week wen i was trying to stuff a hanky up my nose.

When death comes calling..

I was listening to the radio the other day and there was this thing where the RJ asked ppl to call in and answer this question - "If, hypothetically today was your last day alive, what would you do?"

And soo many ppl called up with such lame answers..

One guy stated the obvious and talked bout the whole family n friends thing..which totally turned off the RJ who was lukin for more innovative answers..Which totally got me thinking...HMMMM..

If today was my last day alive, ok no wait, gimmi a month..if this was my lastest month, I would..

Well firstly, I would freak..N then i would call everyone and inform them and gain a lottttttta sympathy...and hopefully freebies.Yay!

I'd watch all the movies where the hero/ione dies in the end and memorize all the classy dialogues and use it myself.

I would print out all my blog posts and send it to a publishing house n publish my book. Well, I did have sumthin a lil different in mind for my first book, but then heck, I'm not gonna spend my last month writing! I dunt wanna go upto heaven n be known as the girl who knocked off while Writing..That would sooo put me in the geek category. Speaking of which, thats another thing I'd do. I'd plan my death. Like say I'm gona die on Monday 4pm, I'd just go ahead and kill myself on Monday 3.59pm...in my own style. As in, I don't wana die in a boring old way, like in my sleep or something. If I know bout my forecoming death, I mite as well plan it..like we do with weddings n stuff. N do it in such a way that I get into the papers! Like skateboard off a skyscraper..no that would actually require me to know how to skateboard...no time for that.. orrr put myself in the washing machine (atleast, I'd die clean) or have a famous person strangle me orr oooh I could watch movies like Final Destination or sumthing for ideas. They have some awesome techniques. Gruesome, but reeaally cool.

And I really would'nt want to die in anyone's house. I feel that then when I come back as a ghost, I'd be like restricted within those boundaries.. which would b a huggge bummer..cos I've got a lottttta after-death plans. :-) But lets not go there now..

I would most defnitely wana fly to NYC, where I've wanted to go since forever. I would wanna eat an entire cheesecake..not a Dhs.10 slice...the whole deal.. I would'nt wana get drunk. I d rather remember every last minute of my last month.

I'd get a tattoo, maybe a lil goodbye note to my friends and family... a belly ring, actually no, chuck those two...my death mite be painful, so I probably shud'nt have to endure any sorta pain before the big event. Mayb I'll get a stick-on tattoo..

During the last week, I would first find every girl/guy I've hated and tell them why, how and how much. They say you shud tell the people u luv how much u luv em, before u die. Well, I figured, atleast those ppl have sum idea bout that, unlike the haters, where most of em have absolutely no clue cos, well, i can do one hellova fake smile. So I say, before u die, let em know, release all the hate, u dunt wana go up there with hate in your heart.

I would then like to wear a wig with long red hair and run on the street/rain wearing mismatched clothes and slap random ppl. I have alwaaaaaaaaayzz wanted to do that. Also to perform on stage. That has been I think my dream since I was a lil kid. But I've never had the chance. And I suck at dancing. Which I discovered yeste. They have those dance classes shows on tv. So i was trying it out and its like I can't multitask when it comes to dancing. I can't make both the hands and legs move together. It such a strain on the brain. So much to remember. bloody hell.

I'd buy myself boots and a dog............ and pass it on to my niece n nephew after i go, so dunt get started on the whole u-cant-take-material-things-to-heaven stuff.

I would blog one last time, I'd do this a lil early so that I can read all the comments before I go. But u really don't have to wait for me to put up my last dying blog post to start commenting, u know.

I'd maybe even reveal deep dark secrets up here. No point taking em to my grave.. I'm already taking my boots...uh i mean...maybe I could give my niece something else? I really don't think she is a boot-person.

So thats its.. There are probably a few other bazillion things too.. ooh n u know wat, in an attempt to reduce air, water n land pollution, I would not want my body to be burnt, drownt or buried. I would want it to be put up in space. Like sorta just floating along with the meteors n stuff. N the astronaut people would have something to welcome them there..like a receptionist or sumthin..or an air-hostess..literally!ha!

So thats really it. So I'm gonna go wait for that ol' reaper guy to come callin.. Until then, live it,king size!

Job vs Marriage vs Ostrich Theory

You know, I just realised a lil earlier today that I'm turning 24 this year. 24! Thats like well a grown-up's age. I remember being a kid and having uncles who are 24. Shucks! I'm an uncle! Well, no an aunt technically. Actually no I became an aunt when i was...ok even before i was born. My cousins got kids older than me. Ok but why am I explaining this? What was I saying? Oh yeah, I'm like all old now! If u go back a few posts in my blog u'll see one bout why being 21 sucks. Now this is like 3 years later. And I actually had to count from 21 to 24 to see how many years. Ugh, old age sucks!

So this is probably the age around when most of my uncles n aunts got jobs and stuff. And I'm supposed to go out and get meself one of those things. A job. Me. Working.

Its not like I've never thought of it. I've thought of it a lot. I've always seen myself as this successful career woman who wears her hair in a bun (straighten hair) and wears grey suits and pencil skirts and stockings and heels, swinging a briefcase. Oooh and square glasses. And a cappachino in hand. Okay, so maybe I just had the outfit all planned out, not my life.

And I had this vision where I would drive up into my old school/college in my Audi, and all the other girls who were mean to me or smarter than me or prettier than me or just plain made my life miserable back then would be fat housewives with screaming brats (no offence to housewives here).

But you know what? I don't think thats happening. Cos I'm probably gonna get into being a fat housewife even before I get a job. Ha!

Yeah,my great big career-woman dreams down the drain. But you know what? The big working life sounds awesome but scares me shitless. I mean, Working...is so much different from Studying. You can always scrape thru somehow in the end in case of education. You kinda know what your getting into. Cos you've been doing just that for so many years. But work. I know nothing bout it! And I have to do it alone! No mommy and daddy to pull you outta crap. No friends to shoulder the blame or let you sneak a peek at their answers.

A coupla months ago, I thought I wanted to get married. I was like Hey! That sounds like fun! Maybe I should give that a shot!

But that was before, I started THINKING straight. And now everyone is all worked up about it and I'm like What Have I Started! I'm not ready to get married!! I mite be 24 but my mind is stuck at 4! Marriage is scarier than work! Its permanent! And you can always quit a job. But marriage..yeah well i guess you could technically quit..but not in my family..any talk of quitting, they send you for counselling.

So I've been walking around like a wet dog a lot recently and people have been asking me why. So now you know. I hate this point I'm at right now. I would give anything to go back just a coupla years and when it comes back to this point again, rewind again (No not back to high school. I can't put myself thru that torture again.Yeesh!)

So maybe I hate change. Maybe I can't adapt to it. Maybe I can't take risks. Atleast on my own. Maybe I should do what the ostriches do. The Ostrich Theory. Stick my head in a hole on the ground until danger passes. Right, so if anybody needs me for anything, you know where I'll be. Waiting, with my head in the mud, for my life to make sense again.

p.s- when I tried to type "job" as a tag for this post, it sorta automatically clicked into "jobless" from a previous post. I tried to turn it into "job" a coupla times but then I realised..uh hello, the damn thing is right. I'm not job...I'm jobLess! Face it! The computer knows better!