Saturday, August 8, 2009

Baby Blues


I have the baby blues. As in I really think I need to have a baby. Right now would be a very good time for me to have a baby. I mean sure, I'm not married yet. I'm not even sure if I'm at the legal age to have babies. There is one, rite? Legal age for baby production? Anyway, why I said that this is a good time is cos I've been around babies for so long that nowadays when I watch ads with lil babies in em, I get this whole maternal thingy stirring inside. I'm all like awwwwwwwwww..not the normal regular aw cute...this is the drawn out, longing, wistful awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww *sigh*. Sometimes I even tear up. Now this can't be a good thing. And it just means that I need to have a kid. I'm not ready for marriage sure...but kids, i think i can handle it.

Some people have this calling. And all this while I was confused bout what mine is. Now I'm thinking, its most defnitely gotta be sumthin to do with kids. Cos, man I'm seriously good with em. I mean, I used to like kids ok. The regular amount. I even used to tell some people that I dunt like kids cos I didnt wana seem like the girly girl coochie coo baby luver (I'm not. I dunt go all "coochie coo" shit.. I'm all like Sup Baybeh!) I've been babysitting ever since I was 13 or so. Its just recently that people has been tellin me Im sooo good with babies. And thats when I realise I shud test these super powers of mine. Every new baby is a challenge. People think its easy to win over a baby. Trust me, its no easier than winning over a pretty girl. (but yeah its almost as easy as getting a guy to think ur interested)

So nowadays, every baby I see, its like I just haave to make em like me. I'm like the baby playa. But i don't play with their feelings and not call them after I say I will. Or atleast I try not to do dat. Once, I'm pretty sure where I stand with my baby skills, maybe I'll think of doing something with it.

When I paint or draw or read n stuff, sure it makes me happy. But when I'm with a baby, and that first smile it flashes at you as a sign of "ok-ur-in", man...that smile can just turn your heart into pulp. Thats like a whole different level of happy.

When people think bout babies, the only thing they talk bout it dirty diapers...and sleepless nights. I mean c'mon..there is soo much more to babies than that. People who has never really dealt with babies won't really know this cos they rely on 2ndory info and hear just bout the 6 kilo diapers and 6am feeding time. They don't hear bout the smile that I told u bout earlier, or the warmth u feel inside n out when they fall asleep on ur chest, or the pride you feel when they choose to run into ur arms when they're scared, or bout how hard you laughed wen they make that funny face wen they poop, or how you heart breaks when their smiles crumble into tears when you wave goodbye......

...

.....

Okay so i got a lil too senti there... I told u, the whole maternal thingy is getting to me.

So, basically what I'm tryin to say is...well I'm not sure. I just wana dedicate this post to my niece n nephew...my number one babies...miss u guys soo soo much. Now I actually get what Saif Ali Khan was talkin bout in that ad when he said "I miss u so much..it hurts!"

oh and mwah mwah to all the other lil babies out there... Sup Baybehz!

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Are The Fine Arts Edging Towards An End In India?


In the wake of commercialization, fine arts is being edged out by professional courses .Increasing number of people have begun abandoning their passions for the arts in order to pursue careers in professional fields. Despite having over 190 institutions across India which caters to the fine arts (which includes not just painting and sculpture but also performing arts like drama, music and dance), the future M.F.Hussains and Ravi Shankars are now found inside operation theaters or at construction sites or spending sleepless nights in front of a computer screen, frittering away their God-given talents.

Today the average fee for professional course like medicine or engineering comes up to 4.5 lakhs approximately, whereas the fees demanded by a specialized course in fine arts may begin at Rs.50,000 per annum. For an individual aspiring for a career in the field of fine arts, the issue of income may prove problematic because mere talent, perseverance and dedication is no longer sufficient to ascertain a comfortable lifestyle. Factors like luck, contacts and the right break at the right time plays an important role when it comes to securing a steady future as an artiste. In the present times, where an IT professional is given a firm assurance of an income higher than that of an arts-related person, demand for these jobs are reducing considerably.

Even parents discourage their children from considering the possibility of a career in the fine arts field inspite of having pushed them into taking up painting, music or dance as a co-curricular activity throughout their school life. The fear of being cast as a social stigma attributes for this indifference. Noone is ready to attempt anything that will jeopardize the society’s opinion about them.

Unlike those residing abroad who thrive on creativity, here in India, right from he beginning, we are taught how to memorize not how to create. Only a very minimal number of schools have included any of the traditional arts under its normal curriculum. But what about all those students who graduate from the numerous colleges that specialize in fine arts? What has happened to those who aspire to be artists, sculptors, dancers, musicians and craftsmen? They evolve into graphic designers, photographers, animators, choreographers and sound engineers. Technology is the key word here. Traditional arts are being side-lined by its modern technology-driven forms. The emergence of reality singing and dance shows provide an opportunity for amateur singers or dancers to jump right into stardom, skipping the various levels of training in between that most of the veterans in the field have undergone.

Reforms must be taken for the rejuvenation of fine arts as a traditional if not a professional art form. However the positive side of relegating fine arts to sidelines is that in today’s age where everyone is thriving towards a technologically-rich tomorrow, the contributions by the fine arts to make the world more techno-savvy or futuristic is considerably meager. It can still be adopted as a soul soother amidst the dreary routine of the working class today. Hopefully in future, there will emerge a job which is related to fine arts that will arouse as much or even more demand as that of an IT-based job today.


How is This for Inspiration?

The world’s most expensive painting sold to date, Jackson Pollock’s “No. 5 1948” was claimed to have fetched about $150 million (Rs. 5,600,000,000 approx.)

Brancusi's "Bird in Space",the world’s most expensive sculpture was sold for an amount of $27.45 million (Rs. 978,000,000 approx.), plus buyer's premium.

Kathak performing artist-teacher-choreographer Anjani Ambegaokar.was the first Indian dancer to be honored with the National Heritage Fellowship by the National Endowment for the Arts in Washington D.C.,which is the the nation’s highest honor in the folk and traditional arts, which includes a one-time award of $20,000 (Rs.800,000).

Courses catering to Fine Arts

Dance and Music

BA & MA Dance
BFA & MFA Dance
Course in Khatak & Bharathnatyam
BA & MA Music
BA Tabla & Sitar

Painting and Sculpting

BFA & MFA Painting
MFA Painting
BA & BFA Sculptor
Diploma in Sculptor

I wrote this a few years back for an online mag.Never got published. Worked on it for like weeks. Came across it tday. can't believe I wrote all that. So damn serious and stuffy. Hmm.. so this is the other side of me. Nah not really. Dunno how i pulled this one off.
So here is my first Informative post.Don't fall asleep in the middle.

Monday, July 20, 2009

The Mighty Giants


Ok this is a decades old story that got forgotten with time...


Long long ago, when the earth was a lot more simpler, there used to be these giants who lived in caves.They hardly ever came outta these caves. So like one fine day, the humans invented the railway system. And this..for sum reason or the other, pissed off the fire demons. So in protest, they set all the railway stations and trains on fire. The humans were devaasted. Cos this was like a massive fire..like the great London Fire. And..and to make it worse..this was during a drought. So like they could'nt put it out even if they wanted to. So this one lil genious guy came up with a plan. And so a whole bunch of the humans went up to the giants sleeping in the caves, and pleaded to them to help them. It took a lil persuading, but finally the giants agreed to help out. So out they came and rushed towards the stations. They took in the situation. And then the great heros unzipped their pants and peed all over the stations and trains, thus saving us our biggest mode of transportation. So this is why, everytime you are in a train or a station, u are enveloped with the nauseating smell of urine. The smell of their heroic deed decades ago. The end.


I thought this up in the train last week wen i was trying to stuff a hanky up my nose.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

When death comes calling..


I was listening to the radio the other day and there was this thing where the RJ asked ppl to call in and answer this question - "If, hypothetically today was your last day alive, what would you do?"

And soo many ppl called up with such lame answers..

One guy stated the obvious and talked bout the whole family n friends thing..which totally turned off the RJ who was lukin for more innovative answers..Which totally got me thinking...HMMMM..


If today was my last day alive, ok no wait, gimmi a month..if this was my lastest month, I would..


Well firstly, I would freak..N then i would call everyone and inform them and gain a lottttttta sympathy...and hopefully freebies.Yay!

I'd watch all the movies where the hero/ione dies in the end and memorize all the classy dialogues and use it myself.

I would print out all my blog posts and send it to a publishing house n publish my book. Well, I did have sumthin a lil different in mind for my first book, but then heck, I'm not gonna spend my last month writing! I dunt wanna go upto heaven n be known as the girl who knocked off while Writing..That would sooo put me in the geek category. Speaking of which, thats another thing I'd do. I'd plan my death. Like say I'm gona die on Monday 4pm, I'd just go ahead and kill myself on Monday 3.59pm...in my own style. As in, I don't wana die in a boring old way, like in my sleep or something. If I know bout my forecoming death, I mite as well plan it..like we do with weddings n stuff. N do it in such a way that I get into the papers! Like skateboard off a skyscraper..no that would actually require me to know how to skateboard...no time for that.. orrr put myself in the washing machine (atleast, I'd die clean) or have a famous person strangle me orr oooh I could watch movies like Final Destination or sumthing for ideas. They have some awesome techniques. Gruesome, but reeaally cool.
And I really would'nt want to die in anyone's house. I feel that then when I come back as a ghost, I'd be like restricted within those boundaries.. which would b a huggge bummer..cos I've got a lottttta after-death plans. :-) But lets not go there now..

I would most defnitely wana fly to NYC, where I've wanted to go since forever. I would wanna eat an entire cheesecake..not a Dhs.10 slice...the whole deal.. I would'nt wana get drunk. I d rather remember every last minute of my last month.

I'd get a tattoo, maybe a lil goodbye note to my friends and family... a belly ring, actually no, chuck those two...my death mite be painful, so I probably shud'nt have to endure any sorta pain before the big event. Mayb I'll get a stick-on tattoo..

During the last week, I would first find every girl/guy I've hated and tell them why, how and how much. They say you shud tell the people u luv how much u luv em, before u die. Well, I figured, atleast those ppl have sum idea bout that, unlike the haters, where most of em have absolutely no clue cos, well, i can do one hellova fake smile. So I say, before u die, let em know, release all the hate, u dunt wana go up there with hate in your heart.

I would then like to wear a wig with long red hair and run on the street/rain wearing mismatched clothes and slap random ppl. I have alwaaaaaaaaayzz wanted to do that. Also to perform on stage. That has been I think my dream since I was a lil kid. But I've never had the chance. And I suck at dancing. Which I discovered yeste. They have those dance classes shows on tv. So i was trying it out and its like I can't multitask when it comes to dancing. I can't make both the hands and legs move together. It such a strain on the brain. So much to remember. bloody hell.

I'd buy myself boots and a dog............ and pass it on to my niece n nephew after i go, so dunt get started on the whole u-cant-take-material-things-to-heaven stuff.

I would blog one last time, I'd do this a lil early so that I can read all the comments before I go. But u really don't have to wait for me to put up my last dying blog post to start commenting, u know.

I'd maybe even reveal deep dark secrets up here. No point taking em to my grave.. I'm already taking my boots...uh i mean...maybe I could give my niece something else? I really don't think she is a boot-person.

So thats its.. There are probably a few other bazillion things too.. ooh n u know wat, in an attempt to reduce air, water n land pollution, I would not want my body to be burnt, drownt or buried. I would want it to be put up in space. Like sorta just floating along with the meteors n stuff. N the astronaut people would have something to welcome them there..like a receptionist or sumthin..or an air-hostess..literally!ha!

So thats really it. So I'm gonna go wait for that ol' reaper guy to come callin.. Until then, live it,king size!

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Job vs Marriage vs Ostrich Theory



You know, I just realised a lil earlier today that I'm turning 24 this year. 24! Thats like well a grown-up's age. I remember being a kid and having uncles who are 24. Shucks! I'm an uncle! Well, no an aunt technically. Actually no I became an aunt when i was...ok even before i was born. My cousins got kids older than me. Ok but why am I explaining this? What was I saying? Oh yeah, I'm like all old now! If u go back a few posts in my blog u'll see one bout why being 21 sucks. Now this is like 3 years later. And I actually had to count from 21 to 24 to see how many years. Ugh, old age sucks!


So this is probably the age around when most of my uncles n aunts got jobs and stuff. And I'm supposed to go out and get meself one of those things. A job. Me. Working.


Its not like I've never thought of it. I've thought of it a lot. I've always seen myself as this successful career woman who wears her hair in a bun (straighten hair) and wears grey suits and pencil skirts and stockings and heels, swinging a briefcase. Oooh and square glasses. And a cappachino in hand. Okay, so maybe I just had the outfit all planned out, not my life.

And I had this vision where I would drive up into my old school/college in my Audi, and all the other girls who were mean to me or smarter than me or prettier than me or just plain made my life miserable back then would be fat housewives with screaming brats (no offence to housewives here).

But you know what? I don't think thats happening. Cos I'm probably gonna get into being a fat housewife even before I get a job. Ha!

Yeah,my great big career-woman dreams down the drain. But you know what? The big working life sounds awesome but scares me shitless. I mean, Working...is so much different from Studying. You can always scrape thru somehow in the end in case of education. You kinda know what your getting into. Cos you've been doing just that for so many years. But work. I know nothing bout it! And I have to do it alone! No mommy and daddy to pull you outta crap. No friends to shoulder the blame or let you sneak a peek at their answers.

A coupla months ago, I thought I wanted to get married. I was like Hey! That sounds like fun! Maybe I should give that a shot!

But that was before, I started THINKING straight. And now everyone is all worked up about it and I'm like What Have I Started! I'm not ready to get married!! I mite be 24 but my mind is stuck at 4! Marriage is scarier than work! Its permanent! And you can always quit a job. But marriage..yeah well i guess you could technically quit..but not in my family..any talk of quitting, they send you for counselling.

So I've been walking around like a wet dog a lot recently and people have been asking me why. So now you know. I hate this point I'm at right now. I would give anything to go back just a coupla years and when it comes back to this point again, rewind again (No not back to high school. I can't put myself thru that torture again.Yeesh!)

So maybe I hate change. Maybe I can't adapt to it. Maybe I can't take risks. Atleast on my own. Maybe I should do what the ostriches do. The Ostrich Theory. Stick my head in a hole on the ground until danger passes. Right, so if anybody needs me for anything, you know where I'll be. Waiting, with my head in the mud, for my life to make sense again.


p.s- when I tried to type "job" as a tag for this post, it sorta automatically clicked into "jobless" from a previous post. I tried to turn it into "job" a coupla times but then I realised..uh hello, the damn thing is right. I'm not job...I'm jobLess! Face it! The computer knows better!

Monday, May 25, 2009

I wanna Blabber...

U know wats the greatest thing bout having a blog?U can talk bout those things that u reeeeeally wanna talk bout n noones got the patience to listen to.Like those things like if ur at a party and u wait n wait n wait for ur turn to say sumthin cos everyone is all speakin at the same time and ur like "Ooh ooh something exaaactly like that happen to me when i was in Italy and..." and sumone goes "Oh god,that new Italian actress is like the ultimate bomb,is'nt she?" and then everyone would rather talk bout the stupid Italian actress..blah.. and no i havent really been to Italy.It was a metaphor!


Or those things u start to say when ur sitting around with ur friends and they go like "NOOOOOOO not again no, we've heard this 50 bagazillion times!!" which is like a tooootal exaggeration, by the way.Sure, i mite have repeated some stories one or two times...or maybe a 20 times...still!


So if i put it down on a blog, then people can just read em, whenever they have the time n patience to read it...or they feel like reading it again...and again!!ok maybe only i read it again n again..but u get my point.Like what if one fine day, I am all famous and rich. N ppl'll be buying strands of my hair on Ebay. Thats when u guys'll really wanna read my blog...This'll be a celebrity blog!Ohh and i would'nt even have to write anything then...I'd either just get my personal secretary to do it for me or I'll just fill it up with pictures of urs truely!! Man, it must b nice being rich n famous...


I've alwayz wanted to be a rich n famous writer. Well the rich n famous bit is a recent addition. But yeah, if I'm gonna b a writer, mite as well be successful,yeah?


I started writing stuff, as is stories and stuff, at a pretty early age.Remember in my previous post i mention how I stapled my hand when I was 5? That was cos I had finished writing my first "book" in a whole buncha papers n wanted to staple it all together so that it looks like a book..Now, I don't remember what I had written in those papers.But i do remember the book part..And the holding the stapler the wrong way part.And the blood n gore afterwards part............


Anywayz....my earliest writing skills were tested on my letters to Dad.He used to work abroad and visited only once in a while.So we tried to keep in touch as much as we could through snail mail.I used to write pretty frequently.And i used to write bout everythin!Not so much bout school,maybe cos I skipped school quite a lot those days, cos Dad was'nt around to keep an eye on me and Mom really could'nt control me.Hmm..its a wonder I actually passed 2nd grade.


Anywayz,I used to write to him bout the dogs, the chickens, the cows, my sisters who left me outta everythin cos I was'nt "old enuff" to play with the big girls, my mom who tortured me with Gigantic glasses of "yucky" milk everyday (she still dus), and my cousin who has 10 zillion Barbies who I'm very very jealous of (I still am..I mean, she had an insane amount of Barbies!Who would'nt b jealous!). My letters used to be long and quite informative.


Well, the letters came to an end when we all moved abroad. But u know wat?Dad and I still wrote letters...later in my teenage years.When we were pretty much at war all the time.We communicated pretty much through slamming doors and notes and letters..And I still have each and every one of those letters.


After the letter stage, I continued writing stories in bits and pieces here and there.That when dad bought me my first journal. To write whateva i wanted.I still remember it. It had a large picture of Minnie Mouse wearing a pink skirt on it! It was like my prized possession. I started off by re-writing classics. My first story was bout the lion and the ant. Then I wrote my version of Cinderella. I remember my sisters laughing uproariously everything they read the word "price" cos appartently thats how I thought "prince" was spelt.


Anywayz, my dad told me I shud write more of my own stuff..as in think and create it outta ur own head..So I thought and wrote a story bout how a girl has a dream and goes to a place where there is unlimited junk food and ice cream and..yeah well junk food..well, I was a young child introduced to the world of junk food just ladat one fine day..all my dreams revolved around junk food at that point of time.


That story was'nt half bad for a start. I wrote more stories. I remember I was in the middle of a story where one of the character's names was Reynold, when one of my uncles borrowed my book to read it. He never returned it. Apparently he lost it. I'm not one for holding grudges..but yeah.. I have never forgiven him..


Later, I discovered the computer...at the age of 9, if i remember right. Back then computers for me was all bout Paint, PacMan and Prince of Persia. Ohh n NotePad...Was addicted to NotePad. Started writing up on the comp and copying them onto my very own Floppy Disk!yes yes, i was high up there then..using Floppies and all.



I remember writing this poem bout Mom n Dad but it was reeeeeally cheesy n I just wrote it in a bid for more allowance or something.


My first horror story was bout a boy eats radioactive blueberries and ends up a cannibal..It got too scary that I couldnt finish it.


I continued writing a lotta stories like dat thru out my school years.Most of em I left infinished.I started one bout a guy who goes back in time..and I was hoping to make it a movie someday.Except I never finished it.Problem is, when i start a story I never know how its going to end up. I just go with the flow. And get stuck. Thats when another idea pops up. And I forget bout this story and pursue the new one.


It was in 6th grade I think I decided to get serious bout writing... All cos of an English teacher. She made us write an essay bout our Favourite movie. And my favourite movie at that point was Dunston Checks In. I'm not sure wat I wrote.It was just half a page. And i just got a 7 on 10 for it. But I will never Ever forget the remark she'd written on it - Keep it up. Your style of writing is truely unique...


Thats the first time someone had said something like that bout my writing. I mean sure, my dad keeps praising it.But then he's my dad.He's supposed to say nice stuff! This was like my first praise from an outsider! Thats when I made the concious decision to take up writing seriously.


After that, I let my friends read a few of my stories. But I was still quite cautious. I never send anything out for competetions or anythin. Until 11th grade, where I sorta involuntarily had to enter a competiton. We could write on anything. N it was around the time the 9/11 took place. So i wrote this 7 page long story based on it and it was all sappy and tragic and tears. I read the whole thing again, tore it up and wrote a 2 page autobiography of a strand of hair. It did'nt win a prize but it sure made the judges laugh..and for me, that was prize enough. :-)


After i got into college, I suddenly didnt have time to write anymore..Or rather,I didn't feel like it anymore. Its like, I can't write when someone is forcing me to write. And in my course, ur supposed to write whether u feel like it or not. Come up with scripts and screenplays and copy and features and stuff just like that. I could'nt do it. The words had to come to me. I could'nt make em come. So throughout college, my writing abilities were restricted to long text messages and an occasional rap song we friends cooked up. I do write poetry sometimes. But they're all based on experience and somehow seems incredibly cheesy wen i read em later, like an over-done sentimental forward msg.


And then this blog happen. So this is my playground again. To write wat I want, how I want, when I want to.


So as I was sayin initially, if i were to say all this in a verbal conversation there is nooo way, I would've gotten so far without being inturrupted.And,yeah,well,I like not bein inturrupted.And also,this way I don't have to pretend I have'nt noticed the painfully bored expressions on ur face, or ur subtle tactics to leave the room.


So that, ladies and gentleman, that, I declare, is the beauty of blogging....


Blabber on, mates!


Thursday, May 21, 2009

Just Laddat!




Ummm..i..m im gona begin writing this post.....as soon as...im dun with...ok i m done..as soon as im done with the last cookie...was on a cookie splurge rite then...u know those times when u eat one cookie and then u can't stop until u stuff the whole packet down your throat...aaahh..such a satisfying feeling..same goes with potato chips..even if ur not hungry..u just have to eat it..i think its like a universal feeling..


a lotta ppl have been reading my blog...and saying nice things bout it...thank u so much 4 dat...but the thing is ..now i can't write!I mean i can't write wat i want...I'm alwayz thinking bout wat shud i write that'll everybody'll like...blah i m goin mad thinking!!
The reason i have'nt posted anythin lately is cos i have nothing to say.Nothing substantial anyway.Or nothing I can write more than a sentence bout.So here r a few things I simply feel like saying...


- I wud rather b sleeping rite now.


- My valentine's day sucked btw.I spend d whole day in bed...no not in the romantic sense...this was the wats-d-point-nothings-gona-happen-this-yr-either-mite-as-well-sleep-all-day sense.
- 3 people said I look pretty tday.


- 2 of em were lying.bludy buggerz.


- I need to stop writing in points..in every post.


- I stapled my hand by accident wen i was 5 yrs old.


- I met a frog named Giordano the other day.We had an interesting conversation. He was quite a good listener I should say.


- the calenders of 1998 n 2009 are d same.


- I make horrible coffee.It alwayz ends up tasting a wee bit salty.Even If I'm nowhere around the salt bottle.


- Sometimes if u stay motionless for a really long time....nothing happens..u just get bored.
- I believe in friday 13th being a cursed day.can't tell u y.


- I've been on a pessimistic streak ever since...1985!


- I was attacked by a chicken when I was 13 yrs old.


- Feb 21st dunt mean anythin to me anymore..


- I worry a lot bout the consequences of the stuff dat I'm too lazy to do.


- I need a new best friend. Preferably a non-human one. No not an invisible one. Got enuff of those.


- I'm ADDICTED to these home shopping programmes!! Esp the dubbed ones! They're so damn hilarious!


- I forgot to brush my teeth on January 16th. Ok, I didn't forget. Just did'nt feel like it. Like my friend says, everythin needs a break...Even ur teeth.


- When ever it rains, most of the time, my first thought is - well thank god I'm not the one paying the water bills up there.


- I wrote n posted a letter tday n it felt GREAT.


- Is it post or posted?


- 2 ppl said dat they luv my blog.they gona change their mind after reading this post.


- IM BRAIN DEAD!