Recently, I read a letter that a friend of mine wrote to his younger self. It got me thinking about how my life has changed in the span of the last 10 years. And what are the things that I learnt?
Since D isn't 10 yet, I asked her what's one thing she didn't know when she was 6 that she now knows at 8 years. She looked thoughtful for a moment. And said solemnly "Education. The word education has all the vowels in it. My friend told me."
I was obviously impressed.
Then I set off on my own mind journey. Trying to think of all the random stuff I would have picked up in the past 10 years. Thanks to Instagram, I come across so much random new information every day - most of which I would have been well off not knowing at all. But after having dug deep, here are some random and sorta kinda meaningful life lessons from the past 10 years.
- I now know what it feels like to have money in the bank - your own hard-earned money. And the feeling of safety that comes with it. But also the feeling of panic knowing that it can be emptied in an instant. Also, spending your own money = perpetually feeling guilty about spending your own money.
- I realize how the things I say and do actually have some effect on people. I'd always thought - it's just me, what difference does it make? But when people quote back things that you said, when your daughter picks up some random word you said 3 months ago and your friend starts wanting children solely on the stories you tell her about D, you know you're making some kinda ripple
- Ten years back, my parents were just parents. People who look after you. It never occurred to me that they're getting older too. And that blanket of security they provide can be taken away from you suddenly. A scary thought that you try to ignore, but it keeps gnawing at the back of your mind constantly.
- I now know that I didn't turn out to be the mother I thought I would be. I didn't turn out to be "that exceptional mom who never gives their child the phone." Not better or worse. Just mostly okay.
- I now know that credit cards are evil.
- Sometimes when you're holding your little baby and eating food at the same time, you will tend to drop food on her by mistake. It's okay. Just pick it up off her head and keep eating. Bottom line - you will screw up as a parent so many times and hate yourself for it. The feeling will pass.
- I now know that life doesn't work out like a timetable - school, college, work, marry, child, happily ever after. Nope. The random twists and turns come out of nowhere. And sometimes even before you can catch your breath, you're pushed down a whole new road you never even knew existed.
- That it's possible to wake up on a new year thinking this will be the year that you travel and meet new people and completely alter your life and then end up staying home all year long because of a pandemic and then meet new people and completely alter your life.
- The shocking realization that your opinions about people you may have known for years can change instantly when their ugly sides come out in random WhatsApp forwards or political stances.
- Having a child doesn't automatically make you a responsible person. Nor does getting married.
- It is scarily possible to love someone to a level that seems like an obsession.
- Eagles can fly over rain clouds. And chickens are descendants of dinosaurs.
- That there'll be spans of time where you're in a good place with your friends - where you are talking every day, having deep discussions, joking about stuff, your Whatsapp group is pinging all the time and you are all very involved in each other's lives. It's a very short span. People change and priorities change. Enjoy it while it lasts. You'll come across more spans with different sets of people.
- Sometimes all people want is someone to listen to them. With every person's story that you listen to, you learn a new perspective. You learn about a life entirely different from yours. And hopefully, you learn to be a bit more empathetic.
- There is a world outside of rom-coms genre of movies. You're going to get your mind blown.
- Plants are freaking awesome.
- That no matter what I do, I will somehow always end up disappointing my dad.
- You're supposed to add salt to rice while cooking it. And apparently, there are some 6000 different kinds of rice.
- The term "bursting with pride"' is a real sensation you will feel inside your stomach and heart when you watch your child on stage or standing up in class to say a speech or something, that makes you feel like you will literally combust with pride.
- Validation is a drug. Extra potent when it comes from people you want validation from.
- That I'm capable of making basic passable meals - 3 times a day.
- That I'm a freaking idiot for not taking care of my skin in my 20s.
- There are 600 different ways to save money. Having the willpower to is a whole different thing.
- Thousands of people are going to read what I wrote and actually like it. And even give me money for it. My designs are going to show up on signboards, packages, vehicles, and menus. I'll make content that makes loads of people laugh. And it's going to feel amazing. And yet I'm still going to remain terribly underconfident about my craft on most days.
- Make-up is expensive but useful to make you feel nice about yourself. Same with sarees.
- A strong dupatta works so much better and is way cheaper than a baby carrier.
- Your period will show up on the days you have to travel. There isn't any Google hack that can change that. Just accept it.
- The definition that you had of "'love" up until now is going to change and change and change.
- Having a job that pays well but you don't enjoy means you're happy only on 1 day of the month.
- The word "'Education" has all the vowels in it.
That you don’t have to physically look beautiful or pretty for a guy to like you.
.
That you don’t have to accept the love you ‘think’ you deserve.
Managing finances.
Beginner-level cooking.
I used to think "Salary - expenses at the end of month = saving for investments etc". Then during covid saw a video of Tanmay where he brought a personal finance expert who said it should be "Salary on day you get - savings/investments = balance left for you to spend for the month. And that investments % he said was 15 or 20%"
I'm ashamed to admit this as a cricket fan, I didn't know that ends were changed after each over.
I didn't know what potpourri was
You slowly become your mom/dad unknowingly. You say I won't be like her/him and one fine day you complain about how vegetable prices are rising and how your body is paining and how well will you enjoy a good sound sleep.
That you don't have to wait for marriage to have sex. And having a bidet or not affects the quality of life
Cooking takes more time than eating
Your parents will behave a bit like children and it's hard to make them take care of their health. And it's sad to see them age
Doing adult things like taxes and errands takes a lot of time
That there are careers outside medicine, engineering (and architecture which is the option outside these two)
Sometimes it isn't love. It's grooming.
Gentle parenting. Prioritizing myself first. Healthy eating, exercise. Driving.
Didn't know that I was a person who can barely keep contact
That I would have a nice career so early in life. In my head, I would have been boss lady like at 35 yrs.
That class 10 is not "the turning point" but only the beginning of a series of turning points.
When I was 12 I thought people who were 20 plus had their life sorted. But now I knowwwwwwww.
That I can have soup and ice cream together if I want to. That I can get drenched in the rain without getting a fever.
10 years ago, I was worried about people n society ... but now I know how to deal with it ..athre ullu
How rich are you enulath matters when it comes to a lot of things
Sex isn't a big deal.
Love was supposed to be eternal but anyone can change their feelings anytime.
One thing is that I didn’t know the truths of the movie industry
It’s a very unsettling realisation that majority of the world still revolves around sex. Bhoolokathinte spandanam thanne.
The fact that my mom wasn't lying when she said sit properly or you'll hurt your back.
I thought relationships are meant forever; like be it family, friends or whoever we had some intimacy with... I felt it would stay the same forever...
Back then I dint know how to start convos... ippo ariyam ennala... but I feel I'm better aware of beginning a conversation.
That everything really happens for the good.
That growing old isn't that fun
I know you now.
