During most of my teenage years, I used to be a boy...wait..no not an actual boy.A wannabe..I wouldnt say a tomboy...maybe an extremely shy tomboy..wore over sized shirts,baggy jeans n boots.Had huuge geeky glasses that covered almost all of my face.Oh,in fact few girls in school used to call me Dilton.You know,the guy from Archies comics.The resemblence was purely physical.Unlike Dilt,I was pretty dumb.Not clueless like right now.Just plain dumb.Got my hair cut at a men's salon.Was once forbidden from entering the women's restroom..but lets not talk bout that traumatic incident.I used to be disgusted by girls.Ok,not all girls..only the ones that I didn't have a crush on...yes I was at the point of questioning my sexuality.well not really.I hadn't even figured that I even had a sexuality then.
Ok so there I was...roughing it like a true-blue boy even after puberty strikes, growing manlier by the day.I think I mite've even sprout a mush soon if it weren't for THAT boy...The boy who is the reason why I am the girl I am today.The boy who made me wanna be,feel and look like a woman.
Ok honestly I don't even remember his name.He was this guy who happen to be in one of the self and personality n what-not development classes my dad always send me to.I remember he had green eyes...or they might've been brown..or grey..ok basically,he had amazing looking eyes.He hardly ever spoke to anyone.The silent strong types..I think he had a bicycle too..
So anyway..these classes were only 4 days long..and i guess the first two days were spend tryin to figure out how i feel bout this guy.I remember this one girl mention to someone that she thought that that guy was cute...and i hated that girl from that day forth.So maybe thats when i stopped trying to figure things out.
My dress sense started changing.First two days, I rolled in wearing cargos and sweatshirts.Third day...since I didnt own anythin feminine to wear at that stage,for some strange reason thought that dungarees(i think they're still called dungarees.) would make me look girl-ish..It made me look ET-ish according to that girl who seemed to be working towards a permanent spot in my hate-list pretty quickly.
The last day was when we have to do the final speech before like the whole world...ok so maybe just the other students and their folks,not the whole world.But it was a big deal-day for all of us....aaand it was my laaaast chance to create an impression with that guy.So I go shopping for girl clothes..and I tell my folks that its because I wanna look good for the big deal-day.I still remember exactly what I picked out that day.A teal colored turtle-neck n black capri pants with a lil rose embroidered at the hip...and girly sandals!My mom almost fainted.I think my dad had tears in his eyes when he saw me.He was either thinking - "Oh my god,She's discovered she's a girl!" or "Oh my god, she's gonna discover my credit cards soon" (I spend almost all my "boy" years buying only CDs, books or junk food.Sue me, Oh shopping Gods, for wasting precious shopping years!)Tried to make my hair look as girl-like as possible.Think I put on head-band and all..Not sure.All for a guy......I did mention that I was DUMB during those years,didn't I?Ok the conclusion of this story is pretty lame.He didn't even notice.Nothing earth-shattering happen.Or almost nothing earth-shattering.There was of course...the Moment.It happen when that mean girl was asking some friend of hers what was that one mistake they would never commit.Her friend said - I'll never fall in love.Fall in love.Love.That was the exact moment that our eyes met.Mine n Mr.Pretty-Eyes's.Exactly when that other girl uttered those three words.Fall In Love.It might've been just a coincidence.But I like to look at it at a more filmy aspect.I'd like to think that at that moment our fate was sealed.Our destinies met.We had found each other....
Well not really.The night ended pretty soon.Our speeches sucked.We all went back home and I never saw him again.I mourned him for like a week and then plunged into the new and exciting (not quite exciting anymore) world of BOYS!!
And from then on, the saga went on.The hair was grown out and styled and streaked and straigtened and what-not.Make up was tried,tested and soon a part of life.Clothes grew a LOT less baggier.The sleeves were rolled down and the boots were stowed... The woman had arrived.
I'd like to dedicate this post to that guy.I thank u with a whole of my heart for bringing out the "right" side of me and turning me into who I am today.I mean physically atleast.You were truely...my first love!
