Monday, September 2, 2019

25 Wishes For My Daughter

I'm not going to start this blog with "Well, the last time I wrote was so long ago." I'm not a frequent blogger. I haven't been one in a long time. I admit it. Not because I don't always have anything to say. It's just taken a back seat. Most of my blog ideas lately were eventually just turned into Instagram or Facebook captions. Isn't it ironic? I started this blog years ago for an outlet to put out random stuff. Now the number of outlets available are overwhelming. 

A lot has changed since the last time I wrote. I'm a working mom now, with a regular 9 to 5 job, except I work from home. We have a new dog now, but I somehow can't seem to connect with her like I did with Bolty. My daughter is in school now, blowing my mind every single day with the stuff she learns.

I've read pieces of late where people write future advice or points for their kids to always remember.  I've been wanting to do something of the sort for a while now, but then being the parent that I am, I really am not sure half the time what it is that I want for my child. And what if I put something down now and then change my mind about it later? And what if she holds it against me for writing something I did not mean. 
Then I realized I am not writing some sort of constitutional law here. I'm just going to look at her and write what I feel right now at this moment. I've got a few more years before she will be able to read this blog. Or rather skim through it and roll her eyes and be like "Urrrrrghh, this is soooo lame!"

Anyhow, here are some of my wishes for my beautiful 4 year old daughter. Things that I'd like her to know, would like her to absorb.

1. Be kind, but know when not to let your kindness be taken for granted. Help whomever you can but don't ever let others take credit for your work. 

2. Be confident about what you can do, but don't be cocky. Try out as many things you can before you figure out what it is that you're good at, and then stick to it.

3. Be strong, bold and brave, but don't go looking for trouble. Know when to keep your head down and wait for the storm to pass.

4.  Voice your thoughts, let it be known if you disagree, but don't ever be disrespectful of the other person's opinion.

5. Make good friends, but don't depend on them for your happiness. Don't depend on anyone but yourself for your happiness. 

6. You can dislike somebody for their character, but don't dislike a person because of their ignorance. 

7. Try not to be invisible. You don't have to be the centre of attention if you don't want to. Just try to leave a room having affected atleast one person in that room. (This is something that I am not, but would love if you could be.)

8. You will fall in love, many times. And get your heart broken or break hearts too. Each one is going to help mould the person you are going to be. And also help you be more clear about who you want to spend your life with.

9. Make lists. Lots of them. It somehow helps put things into perspective.

10. Live alone at some point in life. Own an apartment, Get a dog. I will probably argue with you and probably never want to let you go too far, but pay no heed.  Do it anyway.

11. Always turn off the lights in the bathroom and close the door when you're done. And turn off the tap while you brush.  (these are things I tell you literally everyday now, so I'm guessing it would be applicable whenever it is you're reading this.)

12. Have a good relationship with God. I'm not saying you should pray everyday. That is upto you. But do have something/someone you believe in. If you do pray, remember to say thank you! 

13. Do something everyday that makes you happy. Not because someone needs you to do it, or because it's the right thing. But don't do drugs.

14. Sometimes when we fight, I will say things to you that I do not mean. And so will you. I will forgive you every time. Please forgive me too?

15. Dare to be funny. If you have a funny random thought, don't worry about what the listener will think. Just say it. If you earn a laugh out of it, great. If you get an eye roll instead, no big deal. 

16. Whether you're a morning person or a night person, have a particular time in a day where you can be alone with yourself without any distractions. 

17. You will make so many wrong decisions in life. Cry about it if you must. Then figure out a plan B. Life will not always turn out the way you expect it to be. You can either feel sorry for yourself or do something to help yourself out. 

18. Don't expect the universe, or your mom and dad to bail you out of the same mistake over and over again. Maximum two times. After that I'm leaving you in jail. 

19. It is never too late to start something new. I have a friend who is off to college at 27. Another one who has decided to learn dance at the age of 36.  I figured out  I got a vague idea about my career at 31. Your aunt is learning to drive at 40. Your grandfather has been bitten by the travel-bug at 70. There's never a bad time to do what you're passionate about.

20. Treat your body well but eat whatever you want. Don't be the kind of girl who has to think before biting into a cupcake. Not if you're my daughter. Eat what you want. Just not drugs. 

21. Save save save your money. It's awesome to spend money. It's even more awesome to let it grow in a bank somewhere. Money is important and essential. The sooner you learn that, the better. 

22. Remember you are beautiful. I hope you don't have a hard time accepting that. Also, your hair, I don't know whether you'll love it or you'll hate it future, but it is one of the most spectacular looking things ever. I've cried many a tear into those beautiful locks of yours. 

23. Try not to take what people say too serious. Someone calls you fat at a wedding, feel bad about it for a bit if you must, then let it go, post a joke about it on Facebook and go eat that cupcake. 

24. The purpose of your life is not to cook, clean or be the supporting cast in somebody else's life. I'm the mother of an extraordinary little girl and I swear to God, if you grow up and throw your life away for anything less than extraordinary, I will be heartbroken.

25. In a few years, we might not be close. You might not want to spend time with me. Or hear what I have to say. We might not see eye to eye. That's okay. That's probably karma. But know that whenever you need me, or if you're in trouble, or need advice, or just need to vent,  just go "Amma" and look at me with those big eyes of yours and I'll turn into mush and be there for you. It works as of now, I'm sure if will work 20 years from now as well. 


But most of all, I need you to always remember that I love you like crazy and there isn't anything in the world that can change that.

Damn, this list started at 10 things. I could probably keep going but won't. Gee, I feel old and wise! How did I get here?