Sunday, February 14, 2010

Wedding Bells are Ringing...And Ringing...And Ringing..

Do you ever sit at home and think when you have absolutely nothing to do - "If only I had someplace to go or something to do?" And then like someone heard u say that, BAM!! Its Wedding Season.
        Weddings are great. I totally love weddings. I cry at most of em. Well, if not for happy couple, cos of the heat or cos of the sticky/pokey/itchy/un-breathably-dressy dressy clothes.
Or I'm smiling. At every random person who comes up to me and goes "Oh my god! How you've grown!" I mean I would've seen them just the day before at another wedding and I've grown since then? Really?
          But no seriously though. I love weddings. I love dressing up. I love seeing people all dressed up. And each wedding is like a whole different movie. Sure its nothing like in the movies. No nach-gaana n all. And you don't meet any Salman Khan types there(not that I like Salman Khan, I'm just refering to a wedding movie guy). But there is almost always this one guy who you play "aankon ki ishare" with at each wedding. As in one guy per wedding. Not the same guy. Thats it. No talking. No exchanging numbers. No complications. A smile maybe is as far as it would go. Thats the beauty of this relationship. You don't even know if you'll see them again. Most probably not. Its like a one-night stand..At the sweetest level.
And sometime when you go digging for info and you find that you've been eyeball-flirting with your far far far related cousin but still your cousin or worse your nephew, it just makes it a tad bit icky. So ignorance is bliss.
                 Althooooough.. sumtimes, it could be heart-breaking too... This one time I fell absolutely head over heels fell in love with this aMazing looking Rahul Gandhi types guy at a wedding only to realise that he's the groom. Blah. So yeah, sometimes finding out minor details like that does not hurt.
And its also no fun when you don't have the right sorta company at weddings. I was sitting around with this aunt of mine at one wedding when she went "Oh ooh look at the guy in the white shirt. Like him?"
I was taken aback for a bit then I'm like "Umm.. well no not really.. "
She: Oh.
Me: I liked this other guy I saw sumtime back. (I did'nt wanna disappoint her)
she: Who who who?
me: scanning crowd " Ohhh him near the door. White striped shirt."
she to other aunties : she liked that guy over there.
other aunties: that skinny guy? Hmm really..who is he?
me: Oh My GOD! (WTF!)
She: Do you know who he is?
me: Um.. no. Do you?
she: Nope! I'll go find out.
me: Wha.. wait..
And before I can say anything more, she's gone. Vroom... I can't stop laughing. This is so unreal. I'm all like I should've hung out with my aunties more often if they were gona be so considerate. I mean I have never had anyone try and find out stuff about a guy for me at weddings. Well not an aunt anyway. This is soooo awesome!
She comes back.
me: Well?
she: Finished his MBA, shudh jatakam (clean horoscope, i guess), thats his mom and dad..(pointing at people i do not even bother looking at)
and she launches into a conversation with mum and other aunties..
Thats it? His name? His number? Does he have a girlfriend?? Is he on Facebook? Hellooo..
So like I said.. the right company... very important.

           Okay, lets forget about guys now (Nooooooooooo not completely.. lets just tuck them into a smaller part of our brain)
I like to look at the couple on stage and figure out how their future is gonna be. I mean you can totally tell if you stare at them long enough. I cannot give you examples without offending anyone. So you try it yourself.
I don't like the fact that my hair sometimes gets mixed in the food. I've had a lotta unusual things hang off my hair. (And I'm not just talkin bout food)
I like the drum roll at weddings (a south-indian wedding speciality. I don't know if it happens at northie weddings. Actually I dunno what happens at a north-indian wedding. I've never been to one :-( I'm kinda hoping its like the wedding Priyanka and Shahid's wedding in Kaminey. That is like my secret dream wedding. It would be so incredibly awesome to get married like that. Dance dance dance Marry dance dance dance.) The drum roll when the big knot tying happens. It sorta replicates the heartbeat of the bride and groom at that point. And it always gives me goosebumps. Its so final. Like this is it. Knot tied. Chained for life. Its like that Shania Twain song - From this something something happens.. I don't remember wat. But the Moment. This is that moment. One thing I've noticed though. Most of the wedding, the groom just sorta places the chain around the bride's neck. He tries to work the clasp (hehe no not thaat clasp..please! Dirty-minded people) I meant the clasp thingy on the chain. And fails. So the groom's mum or sister does the actual tying. So technically, its the groom's mum or sis who marries the girl..hyuk hyuk! Oh crap, you know wat? When this same thing happens at my wedding, I'll probably snort and start giggling cos I'll think of this. See, this is why people like me should not be allowed to get married.
But to those who went ahead and did it.. I Applaud You.
 The biggest daredevils on earth are married. Thats why they're really and truely called daredevils.


Saurabh Panshikar said...

So that was you who was playing 'aankho ki ishaare' with me at that wedding last week!

Hehe! Nice and entertaining post. I myself hate weddings. Mainly because I have a problem remembering names and faces of people.

I was planning to skip this one considering the subject related to weddings, but I'm glad I didn't.

Agreed to your point about ppl dressing up and all but its my observation that the bride could do with a little less make up. maybe I've been to the wrong weddings!

~Ms. A~ said...

@ sau - thats the whole deal with weddings.. exaggerating everythin.. especially the make up.. :-)
the thing to do wen u dunt remember people's names is to smile and b4 u reach a point where u gota mention the name, look at someone behind that person and gracefully slide away.. keep doing this.
And yes that was me last week. ;-D

Saurabh Panshikar said...

I prefer to gracefully slide away from the wedding itself!

yojitA said...

what took you sooo long to write????i;ve been waiting!!! :D

~Ms. A~ said...

@ sau - wha? inspite of our aankhon ki ishare game? :-(

@ yo- awwwwww thats so sweet. ive been busy cos i went n got myself employed. take my advice. don't ever do that to urself. jobs drain u of everythin. time,sleep,food,tv and time to think bout nice things to blog bout. which is y this post is kinda blah. thanks 4 readin anyway :-)

Vinz said...

ok i beg to differ.. this post is not at all blah at all.. its infact very very entertainin..u keep surprisin me everytime with ur words n attention to detail...n especially cos i knw all the characters in this post.. ;)
My usual response when some uncle or aunt asks me if i knw them is a exaggerated shake of the head and smile and a YES... the only prob is when they ask me to tell em their name.... ill be like "I remember u... but kinda cant place ur name rite nw.." All in all weddings are fun! n do keep up the good work... i knw work keeps u all occuppied n crazed but still do make time to blog. ;-D

~Ms. A~ said...

@vin- not all the characters.. some.. n i ll kill u if u ever let out the "names" :-P
n ya work.. it dusnt keep me that busy n all.. just braindead.. working kills my brain.. thats all..

Vinz said...

Ok almost all the characters... now why did u have to tell me that you would kill me if i spill the beans or rather the "names"... i so feel like a joey who has to have the 'forbidden fruit'... ;P

Nithin Rajan said...

this post is, what do i say, hilarious:) keep writing.

~Ms. A~ said...

@ vin- haha dunt u dare.
@nithin- thank u!! keep reading!

Pigeonheadophobia said...

Embarrassing wedding moment for me? Feasting my eyes on an eye-candy ish guy and finding out later that he is a distant cousin.

The dancing we do at punju weddings is damn fun!

~Ms. A~ said...

@pigeon - haha i hear ya sista!
and i soooo wanna experience a north indian dancey dancey wedding , the band baaja bhaarat types..