Thursday, February 2, 2012

Tree of Wisdom

So it was one of those ordinary days when I hadn't done anything out-of-the-ordinary. Just sitting on my behind, whiling away time, wondering if tomorrow will be any different. Since it was an exceptionally breezy day, I took a walk in the yard around my house. My niece joins me and soon we were this happy duo sitting on a stone, singing nursery rhymes and pointing out funny looking clouds. My mom and sister were trying to pick ripe guavas from the guava tree nearby.
Now since the day my hormones acted up, I knew that my being the tallest in the family is going to bring me absolutely no good in future. It didn't. It brought me a slouch. It brought me the embarrassment of being the only head sticking out above the others in family portraits. It gave me the rare privilege of being called up in case a "thotti"(a stick used to pick fruits and stuff from trees) was unavailable. So I had to put an end to my perfect evening setting and prance around the guava tree trying to reach the ones on the higher branches. Then, I don't know if it was my sister or my mom, whoever it is who has been secretly plotting a revenge scheme for the past few days (probably for finishing all the chocolate biscuits in the house. In my defense, that extra few inches of height always makes me a little extra bit hungry always), figured that if I could climb up a little, I'd have better reach to the riper guavas. Okay first of all, the last time I climbed a tree was some 20 million years ago. And secondly, I was wearing a skirt, which is definitely not tree-climbing friendly. And thirdly, the tree was infested with huge red ants. In any case, mom and sister persuaded me. And also because my niece was looking on in awe. So in an attempt to impress a 3 year old, I mount up the first branch.
It wasn't too bad. I soon had both my legs off the ground.
Good start.
The trick is to find the right branches to grab on to so as to pull yourself higher. A little shaky but progressing well. I put my feet up on a higher branch and slipped slight. That's when I yelled at the top of my voice "Oh my god, I'm going to die!"
My audience who up until then were shouting up directions burst into laughter. Not very encouraging when I'm engaging in a life-or-death activity here. Anyhow, I proceed higher and with an occasional ant in my mouth and branch poking my ear, I picked my first guava. I waited for an applause. I got none. 
Instead my mom hoisted up a stick and told me to pick one on the edgier branches. Seriously, did she think I was training to be a trapezes artist? More shakiness. I managed to pull down a few more guavas. After a couple of minutes of them shouting up simply un-do-able instructions and me shrieking that I was Definitely going to die now, we decided it was enough. Mom told me to slide down a branch like Tarzan does in that cartoon. I looked at it and well, it certainly did look pretty slide-y. Nope, no way, I'm not out of my mind. I'm not a 2D character. I tried to move slowly but steadily.
Suddenly I have no idea what happen. It was a blur of green and WHAM! I was on the ground floor sitting pillions on the lowest branch. My leg hurt like it was broken into a billion pieces. I bet it was. I let out a yelp. I was helped out of the branch. I am so never climbing bloody trees again in my life. I wanted to keep a straight face in front of my niece. I wasn't very successful. I howled and cried and made faces and cringed and soon lay in bed like an invalid. Okay so maybe the leg wasn't broken. Wasn't sprained even. I mean, I took such a great fall, it could have atleast sprained a little. All I had was a few measly scratches on my left ankle and a tiny cut on my foot. Blah.
But being the drama queen that I am, I moaned and groaned and cringed whenever someone even looked at it. The last time I got to put up such a moan-fest was in college when I hurt my finger with a razor while searching for a razor in my bag. It was a bit bloodier then. Cried buckets. My roommates came up with the biggest cloth band-aid possible. Called my folks at home and cried and exaggerated and all. And just like they did  today, they laughed at me then too. I live with a bunch of hyenas. And I remember holding it up and waving it at every random person who walked by me. A few were quite offended I think because it was my middle finger that I had hurt.
Anyhow, back to now. As I sat there looking at my injured foot, I kept thinking how on earth do little kids do it? Get hurt like this on a regular basis. Because it really did sting. How on earth did I  do it when I was younger? Maybe your pain hormones or whatever grows as your grow older. Oh well, it isn't every day you fall from a tree and hurt your foot. Not when your 26 atleast. So I hobbled all the way over to the computer balancing on my niece's shoulder (who was, by the way the only one who is treating me like the injured soul that I am) and blogged about it.  Even as I was falling the second thought (the first was of course that I'm going to die now.) was that this would make a great tweet/status message/blog post. That doesn't make me pathetic, does it? Well, a little I guess. My last words before death would probably be Somebody..please...take...a..picture...and...post it...on...FB..... :-/
My mom told me that this fall was probably God's way of telling me I'm too old for this shit now. He's probably sitting up there with His head in His hands going "How many times do we have to go through this?"
Um.. whoops?

14 comments:

Vinz said...

(*drum roll!!!*)..... and the anju we know is finally back!! ;) blog-wise atleast. nice write up..look on the bright side of the fall... ur niece thinks u r awesome and u did not break any bones!! ;-D

saneone said...

heheheheheeeeeeehehe

Nishidha Raishad. said...

amazin' work anju!!gr8 story for ur lil grandkids!!missin' hw crazy u get n ur love for those chocolate cookies..de fb part ws really lol.. made me smile.. u jus made my day!!
take gud care n keep smilin'
nish..

~Ms. A~ said...

@vin- nope didnt break ne bones :-/
thanks for reading :)

@saneone - i'd know that hyena laughter anywhere!

@nish - thanks,lady. was my love for choc cookies so obvious back then? glad i made ur day :) keep readin!

deVa said...

ha ha hilarious. As heartbreaking as it is to find that you fell down from a tree, the narration is too sexy to not laugh. :D
Write more.

~Ms. A~ said...

@devan - heartbreaking? really? :P
i'm flatteredd that you think its "sexy" though. thats a first. Will write more soon. Waiting to get inspired. Keep reading! :)

Ramakant Pradhan said...

A very hilarious way of communicating your fall from the tree. Enjoyed the read. Hope you are doing fine now.

~Ms. A~ said...

@ramnath - i'd doing fine now... all the wounds have healed.. there isn't even a cool scar to show off :(
haven't climbed any trees since.
Glad u liked the post. Keep reading!

Seema said...

Hahaha...oh pls dont mind...its really an interesting post....I hope you are doing well now...all the best...tke care

~Ms. A~ said...

@seema - of course I don't mind! I actually was trying to make people laugh you see! :) i'm so glad u liked it. Do keep reading! :)

IndolentInsomniac said...

You probably get called "thotti" too, don't you?

The write-up was hilarious, especially the part when you climbed the tree. Next time, try climbing a mango tree.

Well, there won't be a next time probably, will there? Just kidding as always.

Happy Blogging!

~Ms. A~ said...

I get called a lot of nonsense things.
We do in fact have two mango trees here which cud actually use sum climbing.. hmmmm?
And no there was a next time, dad made me climb a papaya tree the next week.But with a ladder n everything. And I got to peek inside the neighbours house on the way up too. so it was all good :P

Maun Vision said...

awesome post

~Ms. A~ said...

@maun vision - thanks a lot :)